Tom Feely

I think this is the truest baseball tweet for me

Really curious what my reaction to The Smashing Machine would’ve been if I hadn’t seen the documentary

What is this, a Gaslight Anthem concert

I knew nobody actually roots for the Eagles

was he really enthusiastic about prompts

she’s from the andromeda galaxy behind the bagel boss in islip

Three teams have zero turnovers through Week 5.

Excuse me, Jeff Bridges’s character is actually called “Lebowski’s Monster”

What's great about getting older is I can sample the horrible clicking noises in my knees and use them as hats in hip hop beats

Screenshot of The Princess Bride’s Inigo Montoya with text that says “Hello. My name is Pete Davidson. You killed my father. Prepare to laugh”

Meanwhile at the Riyadh comedy festival

Thank god I’m not the only one

I don’t know why the weirdest part of this to me is burying them face down (or else the scoreboard should be upside down, right)

what does this mean for my EA Sports Bio

Being from Long Island and not giving a shit about golf makes stuff like this very amusing because like, okay, sure, go to Bethpage, it reads like someone saying I AM GOING TO RONKONKOMA TO EAT A FUCKING SANDWICH

Only the Hyams family can heal the WWE/AEW rift

No. Your friends don't secretly hate you. You're just dehydrated.

Found an old VOW match of the year column from 2013 where a few people wrote about Charles Lucero vs. Rey Hechicero, a battle of the maestro and the hidden gem. All the reviews mentioned that Big Hech did a crazy dive so I had to find it.

Remembering my freshman year when my roommate wanted to go to this and asked me where Central Park was - I thought it was because I was a New Yorker, but no, he wanted to know what city

He has purchased the rights to Timecop

Cats have not been raptured, so that rules out Protestantism

I’ll say this for Maurice Greene: he was far from the worst thing about Him

‘This Is Like Something Out Of A David Lynch Film,’ Says Man Driving Car With Headlights On

‘This Is Like Something Out Of A David Lynch Film,’ Says Man Driving Car With Headlights On

Raptured: Peach, Yoshi, Lakitu

Left behind: Toad, Shy Guy, Donkey Kong, Koopas, Birdo, Dry Bones, Tanooki Mario

Tribulation force: Daisy, Diddy Kong, Cat Peach, Toadette

Antichrist: Wario and Bowser foolishly think they’re it. It’s Metal Mario

Babylon the Great: Rosalina

Jesus: Baby Rosalina

Tumblr post from every-lemon Sep 8 so my spouse is part of a weirdly intense but mostly benign men's workout group that meets at like, 5:30am outside every day, even in winter. they do a lot of burpees and lugging cinder blocks up hills and stuff. they take turns leading the workouts and tomorrow is his turn. I asked what he was planning. he handed me a sheet of William Carlos William poems from a large stack he'd printed. I said "what" and he explained, helpfully, "it's a William Carlos William themed workout." I asked what inspired it and he said "l've been planning this for months."

Follow up tumblr post every-lemon Sep 9 it was a smash hit. a dozen guys showed up (more than usual). spouse brought a red wheelbarrow and they took turns bringing cinder blocks up the hill with it. then they broke up in teams and did a relay with an "icebox" (cooler filled with 40lbs of ice). at the end he opened the cooler to reveal it was full of beach plum lacroix and all the guys cheered. they drank sparkling water as he read 'approach of winter' out loud. he was home by 6:30am.

dudes rock

Hey, not the first time the chosen people have been called on to overcome a crimson tide

me: i worry the internet has made each of us feel like a pundit, like we must triangulate opinions to match some imagined consensus rather than behaving as one singular constituent, speaking and voting based on our own beliefs and counting on others to do the same

my son, holding an apple: bapple

This is from 2006, once you’ve seen the haircut please look at the other people on this lineup.

Finally, Hangman’s entrance song will be performed by Melanie Doane

i went to a hibachi place the other night and the chef was singing "get up, scallop / scallop for your rights" and obviously i will be singing that at random for the remainder of my life