Thunder Cunt

Scooby seems to have opened his own business

I'm hosting bar trivia and I have these two couples sitting behind *directly* me and any time I talk they start to shout so they can hear one another. I hate them.

Just a big leathery turtle who could absolutely take a finger off of me if I let him. He's got big claws on his little flippers too.

Just another shot of the same lil guy

Found this lil guy on a hike.

Inside me are two wolves. One is behind on taxes, the other has just one part of a song stuck in their head that they can't remember the name of. They are both unemployed.

Helping someone boof drugs takes a depth of love few people ever experience.

Travis County considering higher tax rate allowed after flooding disaster After devastating flash floods hit Travis County over the Fourth of July weekend, the county is considering raising your property taxes to help pay for the damage.

Travis County is considering a special taxing unit at 8% — instead of the 3.5% voter approval rate. According to staff, that would allow the county to bring in $42 million additional that would go into a disaster response special reserve fund. | KXAN Austin share.google/8cgWkbuzQj9Q...

The class of Amontillado

#mildhorror

Texas has nearly $24 billion surplus and projected to have more than $28 billion in rainy day fund Over the next 140 days, lawmakers will have to develop and approve their spending blueprint.

And still absolutely no help for flood victims.

www.cbsnews.com/texas/news/t...

Here you go craigles

Please do not make me vote for the cop again.

I was just thinking about how my name was too easy to pronounce.

Sometimes I feel like arguments based on moral values are like the infamous dress optical illusion. If I stare at it enough I can see the other side for like a second but it's still incorrect.

This was a good break from the horrors today.

Oh honey, you have nice hair.

According to the Treasury data, the government has brought in roughly $120,000 a month in charitable donations to pay down the debt since 2020. The Treasury received more than $2.7 million in gifts in 2024, and roughly $1 million in 2023. In the first 5 months of this year, the department brought in about $434,500. Reached by Business Insider, a spokesperson for the Treasury Department's Bureau of Fiscal Service did not immediately provide comment on the change.

I'm sorry, what?!

"So anyway, that's why you should nominate me for president. Link in bio"

Rogue:
Tough as fuck southern gal. Problematic parents. Don't touch me.

Most of the time, one side of the argument is actually more wrong.

Sounds like you're describing @hungrybowtie.bsky.social and the entire cast of It Could Happen Here.

I try my best to give three compliments a day even if they are to myself. I started doing this years ago as a way to foster appreciation for people around me. It is something I advise everyone to try at least for a little while.

How to write:
Step 1: everything is made up
Step 2: go nuts
Step 3: people will react. Let them.

After telling her I don't know if I will ever be as funny as her:

"Don't worry, it will come."

Her: "So do I start calling you Mommy since I'm your dependent?"

Me: "Not on my taxes you aren't."

Her: "Well start."

After finding out her phone is missing:

Me: "who did you piss off enough to take your phone?"

Her: "whoever they are they are going to be more pissed at my annoying ring tone going off all the time."

After telling her about her computer's planned obsolescence:
"So you're saying he's old. Ready to die. -pregnant pause- get in line buddy I was here first."

Immediately after telling me that she hurt herself lifting something too heavy:
"Do you still have that sledgehammer? I need to put a fence up and the ground is too hard for my regular hammer"

"I don't mention anything about Trump anymore, I don't want to cause any more hate."

Me: "you think people would hate you for not supporting him?"

Her: "No, I can't afford to hate any more people. It's a very small community we have."

In regards to politics:
"I started hoarding everyone's cardboard boxes and when they ask if I'm moving I tell them 'no, I'm saving these for when my Medicare is gone."

I one day aspire to be as funny as my mother. I picked her up to run some errands today and here are some gold nuggets: