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i’m getting off social media entirely until i fuck someone’s mom see y’all later

i can’t fully articulate why just yet but a great chaos is nerd rap

i’m actually into boys too it’s just my type is exclusively the twink that tried to get me to suck his dick in seventh grade

this isn’t a suicide joke btw i’m looking for something of an entirely different caliber

so are Heckler & Koch hiring taste testers or what

had my tits referred to as “elevator buttons” i’m scheduling that fucking consult

i only need one more for a squad baby let’s dtr

being poly is cool cause i have beautiful women who are obligated to play ranked duos with me

bpd meaning Bust (that) Pussy Down has been life changing info for a bitch like me

wait this doesn’t mean mango pods it’s so over

NEVER PUNISHED

progress not perfection 😌

i should call her

every time i’m mad at someone i either rotate them around in my head or imagine them burning in hell and that usually solves it

thanks babe

lovebombing is actually awesome you just have to date someone else who also does it

got dangerously close to learning what agp means

the fuck do millennials know about special jenny

i wouldn’t call my girlfriend old but i do have to submit every tiktok i want to send her for peer review

idk anything about it but i fw the burgentruck

did she show you the kid

we can’t fuck if your phone doesn’t go off at 8

recruiting a willing alcoholic for thursday please direct all inquiries and applications to elleswanezy@gmail.com

history will look kindly upon the mets-sox jihad

started writing a short piece on how being toxic in relationships was cool sometimes until i realized i sounded insane so this is the endpoint

untreated bpd lowkey goated when loving too hard is the vibe

the dwerking i get the roger edits i can respect but like cmon

who told the kids about furry tortas