Pukey Suzuki (fka Jolie Laide)

I find the drums on "baba o'riley" intoxicating & soothing

I had to stop watching CSI when I realized that Gil Grissom was making me way too horny for my own good. What that says about me, I'll need to unpack with years of therapy.

I don't know who needs to hear this but Alfredo sauce is disgusting

the universe provided what you asked for!!! jump on that shit with the quickness.

tomorrow I plan on speaking in nothing but ACDC lyrics so you should probably avoid me for 24 hours

it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock & roll

I wrote my first poem in decades. Presented without comment, below, a reclamation of myself:

I am not that woman anymore; I am warm, open, inviting, healed, no longer covered in vestments of barbed wire & self immolation.

he reminded me of shaw, a man I fell for when I was in my mid 20s; we were like hipster Statler & Waldorf, playing street hockey, slurping PBRs, snorting cocaine, lurking at various LES bars & that coolly detached disdain was what resonated in my bones.

I finally broke from the loop I was trapped in & all it took was realizing WHY; it was as simple as realizing I did not want to let go parts of myself that I saw represented in him despite knowing I was growing beyond that container/identity. it's why he felt like "home" - old habits die hard.

I don't know why I get so mad when men call me "cute" - I'm not a squirrel nibbling on an acorn!

I've decided in 2026 I'm going to become one of those women who "takes on many lovers late in life" which is basically how I've lived anyway but nobody needs to know about that part.

oh well, the secret's out of the bag, y'all.

I cried during a first date talking about another man & what this guy did was look at me with compassion, his face soft with empathy, and reach for my hand. Of course he did: he's poly. He's emotionally regulated & can talk about his emotions after years of therapy.
The man I cried over would laugh

DO NOT SHOW UP TO A FIRST DATE CRYING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE

I need to dream bigger & want better for myself

ugh I just started to imagine my dream emo cry baby & immediately wanted him to be built from Colorado dirt & smelling like gunpowder, sprung from a canyon, fully formed & potent, an Athena of my desire

I just described ES, only he's broken, so fucking broken, a gun without a firing pin

honestly I'm listening to mineral RN & I want to cry.

the 90s really built a specific breed of weepy wussies clad in camo shorts

I actually look just like this when you catch me coming out of the shower

LOL I forgot my brother bought me a MINERAL trucker cap from the big emo fest in Vegas last month so I'm wearing it on a first date tonight; hope he wants to cry

I just texted my queer dude friend "thanks for being my Rue McClanahan" because we're making dumb jokes about FWBs & Abraham Lincoln & everyone needs that kind of friendship where everything is irreverent but serious simultaneously.

I am pretty sure my neighbors know all the lyrics to WEB IN FRONT by now so consider that my charity for the week

Whoops I got dumped for that but it was worth the story

Delayed text to send, 20 years later: "I'm not sorry I fucked your date, dude; she liked me eating her out better than she liked you fucking her & when you left the party we all laughed and took off our clothes"

I named my ex's dog Ginger Curry Rice, so you know I have problems

if I ever get a dog, I'm going to name her kugel.

I guess i just made plans to go ice skating tomorrow so that will end with me on my knees at least

to be fair, I'm not mad at myself. I'm pissed at the situation because I cannot be angry at a person who lacks the resilience I take for granted. I mourn the potential. I miss the idea of you but it was simply that, illusory & unable to survive in sunlight

I'm back to listening to WEB IN FRONT on repeat for the past hour or so; clearly I am processing some feelings & I am very annoyed that I am still holding onto them despite trying to disperse them into the ether.

I give myself another week before I grow weary of being this self-flagellating

I think my new "about to create chaos" theme song will be "hyper enough" by superchunk

OK this chicken adobo is delicious but...I don't think I really like chicken other than for skin & I am OK to admit this because we're all friends, right?

I admit to having seen this film more than 6x but I always turn it off after Waingro's inevitable departure because that's the happy ending right there.