Ben Goldstein

Olivia Nuzzi's 'American Canto': Read the Exclusive Excerpt She flamed out and she faded away. 'Vanity Fair'’s West Coast Editor returns to the written word to survey scorched earth.

women are always saying “lord grant me the confidence of a mediocre man.” ok well he did. now what. is the world a better place? look at what you’ve wrought.

Contractor in our basement is blasting some music I can only describe as "What if Blueshammer from the movie Ghost World was a real band"

This is one of the things I hate most about modern capitalism. The idea of making money has been fully peeled away from delivering any kind of goods or services that people would want to pay money for.

The guy knows less ball than anyone who's ever held the office.

Good. Take his stapler too. Move him into a storage room.

Joyce Carol Oates @Joyce... 17h O So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world."

Elon Musk ' @elonmusk X.com Oates is a liar and delights in being mean. Not a good human.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

My latest for @cbsnews.com: Yes, I Know What 'Arabic Numerals' Are — And I Still Don't Want My Children Learning Them

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn” is actually a very happy story if you’re looking for baby shoes!

When I first joined this site I searched "Lions" looking for chatter on my favorite football team and the top results were ALL furry drawings. That's slowly improving, but I also know I need to "be the change" instead of complaining about it.

Yeah, Puddy should have dated Sue Ellen Mischke instead, good stuff 🙄

Gotta be the worst take in Facebook history

Ozempic Vulva, leader of the galactic rebels

PATIENT: I can't stop, I'm addicted to the shindig

DOCTOR: Treatment is simple. The great clown Anthony Kiedis is in town tonight...

I am indeed racist against anti-human anti-art theft machines.

"The Man from UNCLE" ? You mean my cousin? 😂

It was their fault for standing so still! Who does that??

Finally: AI cannot do your job, but an AI salesman can 100% convince your boss to fire you and replace you with an AI that can't do your job, and when the bubble bursts, the money-hemorrhaging "foundation models" will be shut off and we'll lose the AI that can't do your job, and you will be long gone, retrained or retired or "discouraged" and out of the labor market, and no one will do your job. AI is the asbestos we are shoveling into the walls of our society and our descendants will be digging it out for generations:

This whole section really.

I am no longer allowed to retweet this : /

[*dog version of RFK Jr with the worst case of kennel cough you've ever heard in your life*] it is absolutely safe to eat an entire bag of hershey kisses with the foil still on

Only people with more three-turn Wordle solves than five-turn Wordle solves are allowed to retweet this.

I think AI is the end of humanity cognitively speaking. That's the real threat, not some Terminator 2 skynet bullshit, but the rot of the human mind and soul.

Got fired from my job for saying that Samantha on Bewitched didn’t really wiggle her nose, she was just kind of twitching her mouth back and forth.

How about "Taryn U. Asunder" for a drag name?

So much of the tech industry is an attempt to replace Cloth Mother with Wire Mother, despite our repeated stated preference for Cloth Mother.

My kids used to take buses to school. They still do, but they used to, too.

Is "Demi Moore" an oxymoron? Does "Demi Moore" suggest the existence of a "Whole Less"?

Am I supposed to sing this in the Morrissey voice?

Fine, what do *you* guys want to talk about 🙄

Last night I watched the first 30 minutes of Beau Is Afraid and thought it was hysterical. I should quit while I'm ahead, right?