peach

I just said “back off, bucko” out loud in the car because somebody was following me too close. my transformation into my mother is nearly complete.

I just experienced the Insane Clown Posse’s “Miracles” music video for the first time and oh my GOD

going to pennsylvania tomorrow. first stop: PIEROGI

me, at work: *busy as hell*
guy who just stared longingly into my eyes 2 minutes ago and asked, “how are you? 🥹”: *staring longingly into my eyes* how are you? 🥹

hey could everyone please boycott the costco down the street from me for about an hour starting in the next eleven minutes

For the non-drinkers, “well” is the bar booze, AKA the cheap stuff. Asking for a 7&7 is like asking for a jack [daniels] & Coke. It’s a brand name whiskey with “7” short for 7up (or sprite)

tonight this woman ordered a 7&7 and then was like “is it well? I wanted well” uh, no, it’s Seagram’s 7. That’s one of the 7’s in a 7&7. literally what the fuck. I’m still mad about this hours later lmao

*discovery of potatoes*
1st person: What should we do with these?
2nd person: *clenches fist* EVERYTHING.

Whenever I play anything against my sister I always start with, "You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you," and she always responds, "You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die." That's family.

I WILL cry!

“you’ll cry if what?”

no I just will

I’m always thinking of grocery list items when I’m in the shower, so

ME: do you even understand what lent is?

THEM: i give up

ME: oh so you get it

I had a dream last night Luigi was HERE and I was like “omg you need a candle” but I had given all the perfect ones away and only had the fucked up one left 😭😭

Kisses and hugs to you, my sweetie!! ❣️

a prayer candle with a pic of luigi mangione and a card that reads: WITH THIS CANDLE, WE SOLEMNLY PRAY FOR JURY NULLiFiCATION FREE LUIGI , AMEN

omg look what my new comrade @peachy.bsky.social sent me!!
💀😍😍😍

It’s tomorrow 🥰 but my celebration was Saturday so that’s when I got the BREADDDD! haha thank you!!!

Thank you 🥰🥰

I love my 30’s! my friend BAKED ME A LOAF OF HOMEMADE BREAD FOR MY BIRTHDAY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!

My favorite part of bartending is when I’m in the middle of doing something and somebody calls me over so I can watch them and their friends decide what they want to drink

🥲😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

This post is only for bartenders in Arizona who made a whole random online group of people feel like family during the pandemic: *raises eyebrows seductively* hey Paige

I don't want AI. I want a microwave that never beeps

Can’t even throw eggs at Eric Adams like he deserves because they’re too expensive now

Has anybody considered that Trump brought back freedom and a lot of pilots just 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 crashing planes, and now they finally can?

are we trying to break a plane crash record or something because what the heck

omg should I

eating candy on my way to a spin class didn’t enhance my performance
?????

just saw a post from an insane party girl friend where she wrote “very much in my self-improvement era” and I’m dying to reply “so are you gonna stop drinking and driving every night? 🤗”

Yes I accidentally posted the photo saved from my phone when I posted it to rednote previously 😭

They’re soooooooo creepy 😭😭