Alan James Kluegel

It's 1925. I'm leanin' against this lamppost on the lookout for dames who are lookin for trouble. I start flipping a quarter. I catch her eye. I fumble the quarter and it rolls into a sewer grate. I have lost the equivalent of thirty thousand dollars.

Joyce Carol Oates @Joyce... 17h O So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world."

Elon Musk ' @elonmusk X.com Oates is a liar and delights in being mean. Not a good human.

lol she got his ass and he knows it

I love that the Boston cop slide never got fixed and now people just willingly go down it in tribute. It’s basically a national landmark at this point

“For the reasons articulated when I ran into you in the bathroom”

The ship was named Mignonette! If I’m on a ship named Bearnaise and there’s a shipwreck, someone’s getting eaten.

Dudley and Stephens still whips

Tweet from Ella Devi: canvassing for @ZohranKMamdani in the east village today and the actor who plays dr. strugis in young sheldon is in my canvassing group!! Photo of Ella with another canvasser and Wallace Shawn

On the other site, an 18-year-old Zohran canvasser described the legendary Wallace Shawn as "the actor who plays Dr. Sturgis on Young Sheldon" which is honestly adorable

My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look on my works and let me know if you have any questions! 🤗

CHOTINER: So you asked for a Birkin bag?
KOKO: Yes. Possession Bag.
CHOTINER: And you had the funds to acquire this?
KOKO: No, Professor Purchase Koko Gorilla
CHOTINER: That doesn't sound like the funds were justifiable.
KOKO: Hostility Interviewer

an image composite of all 487 pitches thrown in this game

b̶̗̠̤̙̺̰̙͇͆̀̒̍̀̂́̕ả̶̡̛̛̛̛͎͔̟̯̤͑̈͐̌̈́̄̓͆̓͛̎͌͛͋͑̆̇̄͐͋̋͊̓̋̊͐̍͗̓͒̆̊̓̂͆̀̾̇̑̈́́͊̾̚͘͘̚̕͝͝͠s̷̢̢̢̧̡̝͖̮͉̰̯̫̮̪̳̲͕̯̟͉̮͚̙͚͓͕̫̣̦͔͓̺̫̻̤̲͆͒̾͂͌̐̑͊̈́͒͛̆̊̍̌͛̇̇̍̾͗̎͐͑̆͒̓̀́̏͊̓̈́͋̓̐͂͘͜͝͝͠͝͝e̴̡̡̡̘̲̺̥͎̥̭͙̲̪̱͔̞͔̠͖̞̞̦̱͉̤̭̼̗͖̥͕͕͙̦̹̠͙͓̤̰͎̼̱̪̹͉̱̞͉̯̠̜͎͙̗͖̣͒̊̒̌͒͗̓̀͗͒͐̽̈̔̑̆͑͑̆̀̀̒̉̿̕̕͜͜͜ͅͅb̷̧̡̪̺̯̱͍͚̻͕̗̬͓̞̈́̈́̽̋̑̈́͒̓́̒̓̇̀̾̕͝a̶̧̢̦͕̗͔͓͙̦̜̬̯̟͉̪̱̮̲͍̻̹͓͍̪̦̥͎̩̫͉͈͙̰̹̞̯̭͔̩̹͛̅͗̑̂̋̍͌͒́̈̆̚͜ͅͅḻ̵̢̢̧̢̨̧̟̗̖̰͇̦̺͕̫̖͈͎͈̪̺̗͚̖̱͎̞͚̥͇̺̱̜͛̃̀̂̾̆̈͝ͅļ̴̧̨̬͔̱͎̳̬͉̘̝̻̹͔͓͍͈̙̣̳̝̗͙͉̬̭̦̗̥̜̠̘̯̯͖̜̠̦̱̰̱̮̤̣̥̼̯̞̉

This game is like I got caught smoking a baseball and now I have to smoke a whole pack of baseball

I’m watching the World Series. I’m taking part o the Stanford prison experiment. I’m at the combination World Series/Stanford prison experiment

The ideal Chotiner interview subject is an expert who cares deeply about their expertise but feels it isn't understood properly to the general populace and Chotiner acts as an intermediary.

The ideal Chotiner victim, coincidentally, believes that this describes them perfectly.

Hey man, I forgot to tell you: I need you to schedule all my classes for Wednesday, thanks.

Pequod’s reservations CANCELLED

A bill on Capitol Hill, probably funding Pell grants for low-income Havana Syndrome survivors.

NFTs are amazing because you apparently “own” them but the AWS outtage yesterday took out everyones apes lol

the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

Riker tooting on that boner

The thing that makes Star Trek utopian isn’t the end of scarcity or the harmony between all peoples it’s also that the guy on the ship who gets laid the most plays the trombone at work and periodically does community theater

twitter is making mainstream reporters dumber, and because they're all getting dumber together, none of them can recognize it and they actually think they're getting smarter

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

quotes from cybertruck owners

We wanted to know what it was like to own a Cybertruck. So @zoeschiffer.bsky.social went to the desert got this absolutely amazing quotes (and Michelle Groskopf took the pictures!) www.wired.com/story/owning...

The virgin AGI existential risk vs the chad global warming

Shohei Ohtani goes 1-18 with 9 K's during the NLDS, as the Dodgers beat the Phillies 3 games to 1 to advance to the NLCS

the reverse Tungsten Arm O’Doyle

Yep

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