Pete Wilson

Super-Villains have origin stories as well...

No fair, I got the "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread' part, but not the 'one ring to rule them all part'...

Admittedly, I'm not a neurologist, but I'm pretty sure that the term Brain Plasticity refers to the propensity of your brain to melt when you've been in the sun for too long. That's why your thinking and reaction time slows down when it's really hot out.

So you're telling me if I'm bad I get the stick, but if I'm good, all I get is a lousy carrot? Who negotiated this deal?

Remember kids, turning to the Darkside isn't all Force-choking subordinates and slaughtering younglings, there's a high likelihood that you'll take a lightsaber to the face at some point; probably from someone you trusted.

or possibly a vampire story. There's a lot of blood drinking going on at church.

I don't like that the abbreviation 'Vet' is used for both Veterans and Veterinarians.
When I read headlines stating that they've discovered surprising levels of bird flu antibodies in Vets, I wonder what war they were fighting in.

I hate this timeline: When the company that makes my phone announces they're going to design a cool new motorbike I want to believe it and look forward to buying one, but when the news announces that the US wants to take over Canada, I want to know without any doubt that it's an April Fool's joke.

I prefer, "Origin Story"

I need to print out physical business cards with my 'Terms of Service' that I can hand out to anyone who feels the need to converse with me.

...if you're on the guest list, which fluctuates depending on my mood.

What I whisper to myself as I unwrap the last remaining bundle of toilet paper in the storage closet.

Pro-tip: Give your dog a name similar to one of your children so you can claim their medical expenses. Oh, looks like little Jonny Durham needs more deworming meds.

instead of buying California outright, I'd suggest a short term lease before committing to ensure it's what you really want. Make sure you do an incoming inspection report that lists all the damage from previous tenants and agree in writing who pays for utilities and upkeep.

Anyone know how to invest in US flag futures? Every flag Co. I've found is privately owned. I predict: sometime soon the US will either add or lose a state and everyone will need to buy a new flag. Perhaps the flag makers are behind the push for Greenland or Canada to join the US. follow the money.

Do you think everyone in Poland spent 1939 sharing memes about Germany?

I'm not saying I'm an international assassin, but I do keep a Go-bag ready at all times, just in case.

Why isn't the name "Hamish" pronounced like "Amish" or vice versa?

Bands in the 80s: I'd sell my soul to the Devil to be popular for decades.
Devil: Deal, but you have to keep the same hairstyle you have now.

is this the 'real Ernst'?

My brain is currently flip/flopping between 2 catastrophes and can't decide which is worse
A: We're quickly sinking into a fascist dictatorship and civilization as we know it is dying.
B: The Severance writers are just being weird for weirdness sake and I'll never learn why shit is sideways.

YouTube video by BL COACHING Reminder People don’t buy products They buy solutions to their problems

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgiS...

YouTube video by BL COACHING Reminder People don’t buy products They buy solutions to their problems

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgiS...

So far, my opinion of Bluesky is that it's on par with printing my posts on paper and throwing them off my balcony.

Rich and Powerful: Thanks Hulu, we'll make sure we sell you for parts last.

Margaret Atwood: Everyone be careful; If the rich and powerful manage A, B, C and D, they'll seize control and make life a living hell.
Rich and Powerful: What was that middle part again, we're not really big on reading.
Hulu: How 'bout we make a series of how-to videos so you can follow along?

Every time I sneak a treat to our dog, I whisper, "Don't tell your mom". So far, to the best of my knowledge, he has never broken our pact.

Cooking show I would watch: Famous chefs make 2 identical versions of the same meal except one has a single bay leaf and the other doesn't. They then blind taste test each other's dishes to see if they can tell the difference.
Beware the bay leaf culinary complex.