Amy Schneider

A screenshot of the NYT Spelling Bee rejecting the word “ANTIBACON”

Oh come on, its existence is clearly predicted in the Standard Breakfast Model! I guess they’re waiting until we get more data from the Large Ham Collider

NYT headline reading “Can Zelensky Trust Trump? Ukraine’s Fate May Depend on the Answer.”

Literally nobody can trust Donald Trump, not in the entire world. More importantly, every single person, without exception, *everyone* who was even tangentially involved in conceiving, crafting, approving, or posting this headline, they all knew, without a doubt, that he can’t be trusted. And yet.

NYT headline reading “Gavin Newsom’s Gerrymander Has a Formidable Foe: Arnold Schwarzenegger”

I defy you to explain what you mean by “formidable.”

Listen I don’t care how many people switch bodies in this one, they still have the first two to explain to them why it isn’t as freaky as they might think at first

Freakier Friday? Terrible title. The same thing happened to them once before, which makes this Friday inherently less freaky than the first one

David Rendall, Tenor Who Suffered 2 Operatic Mishaps, Dies at 76

This guy put everything into following his dream of becoming an opera singer, *succeeded* at it, and his obituary wound up being “He was a mediocre tenor who one time accidentally stabbed his cast mate”

“There are crazy people out there, confused young men who want to pretend to be women so they can get an unfair advantage at volleyball!” 😱

“There are crazy people out there, confused young men who want to buy guns so they can murder anyone they see as a threat!” 🤷‍♂️

Life as a creative professional:

Q: So, what do you do for a living?

A: Well, basically, I try to monetize my thoughts

Q: What thoughts?

A: Oh, thoughts like “Our society is a nightmarish dystopia in which everyone’s thoughts are monetized.”

Q: Oh. Hmm. I see.

A: Yup

Screenshot of a New York Times obituary, the headline reads “Joan Anderson, Unsung Heroine of Hula Hoop History, Dies at 101”

I was really hoping this obituary would reference The Hudsucker Proxy

Thanks so much!

Screenshot of a headline reading “Maddie, a Dog Who Awed Instagram by Balancing on Things, Dies at 14”

Being famous is so weird. Like, in a certain sense, this is an obituary for one of my professional peers

And to take it a step further, the thing that’s really wild about it is that I found out about it from someone else! Like, the constructor didn’t notify me in advance*, any more than they would have notified, like, [Brian ENO] or whoever!

*(Presumably, but I have many unread notifications)

This is correct. Any candidate cynically “triangulating” on trans kids is a non-starter, and now is the time to say so. There’s still so much time to advance candidates that DON’T suck.

Seeing my name in a crossword puzzle is one of those things that occasionally reminds me that, oh yeah, my life has gone down a *wildly* unexpected path

Four presidential portraits, under a sign reading “Discover the Ohio Presidents”

Speaking on behalf of Ohio: please don’t

Tonight was the first time I got to sit down and watch former Dayton Flyer Obi Toppin play a key role on an NBA Finals team, it felt great. Not as great as it felt when I watched him win the 2020 NCAA tournament for UD over in the Good Timeline, but still pretty great

If there isn’t a sign over the toilet asking you not to flush anything besides toilet paper because they have old plumbing, are you even really at a bar?

I also love her history of the English Civil War, despite her clear royalist leanings

Have you read C.V. Wedgwood’s history? So good

Tag reading “I have to be attached to make a return.”

I feel like this ModCloth dress is asking me to go to couples therapy

World’s Two Most Self-Centered People Have Difficulty Cooperating

I did not, thanks for pointing this out, that’s very cool!

I just hope I can ever feel as cheerful and confident as the guy that says “Stand clear of the closing doors, please” on the New York City subway

When I feel like our society is irretrievably divided, I remind myself how we all came together, with one united voice, irrespective of our personal or political differences, to denounce the last season of Game of Thrones

Watching Top Chef. My main takeaway this week is I hope I never have to take criticism from a Quebecois woman

It does, that’s true. My only objection to it is that Kafka definitely wanted the exact nature of the “Ungeziefer” to be somewhat ambiguous, he insisted that the publisher not depict it on the cover image for example, so naming a specific animal goes against that

The most literal translation would be “animal unfit for sacrifice” or maybe “unclean animal.” There’s no perfect English translation, but I feel like “vermin” implies, like, rodents, whereas the animal in the story is clearly described as invertebrate

Look, I know it’s controversial, but I’m just going to come out and say it: in the first sentence of The Metamorphosis, “Ungeziefer” should be translated as “bug,” and I honestly don’t understand why it’s ever been translated differently

My cat Rue standing in front of our tv, which is showing the newly elected pope

Habemus felem

Jeremy Allen White on the Met Gala Blue Carpet

Jeremy Allen White
Yuck. The "The Bear Season 3" of Met Gala outfits