Jack Nelson

ballet’s so cool it’s a shame that everyone who does it has borderline personality

Raising money for Donald Trump while pretending he's not. 😍

I feel that god is in this picture of @jackiekeyes.bsky.social playing Fortnite at my house

A representation of my weight loss journey

#lovewins

my internal monologue when it’s raining at my job:

A comic I drew on a takeout napkin in 2015. If you're pressed for time, it's the original One Fear comic. Boom. Done. Get on with your day. If you don't value your time, here's a description: it's a comic, right? Well here's the twist: whole thing's on a napkin. Thinest sharpie for the lines, if I recall correctly. Comic is titled "TEEN COMIX" and the first panel has a guy in sunglasses wearing a shirt that says "NO FEAR." His friend is approaching, cut off by the panel's edge. His shirt says... something. But what? Fear not, the next panel clears that right up. Second panel is zoomed in on the friend's shirt. It reads "WHAT IF THEY MADE SIMPSONS PORN ILLEGAL?" Last panel is the guy from the first panel alone now. His shirt now reads "ONE FEAR." The title is attributed to Branson '15 which should go a long way to explaining how far I expected this to spread when I drew it. It was unfathomable to me that people who didn't know me on a first name basis would see it. Little did I know that every fandom on the internet would edit it with something interminable like "The Xanadon Guild receiving a buff from Trade Legion in Era of Conquest IV." I never get them but hey, god bless. I still see those from time to time but it's really slowed down. Nowadays this is an ancient meme, frozen in place like a masturbating Pompeii victim covered in the ash of the centuries.

Happy ten years to this bad boy.

Wearing high wasted slacks makes me feel like I should be managing a doo-wop group into the ground

gravity is doing a better job opposing the GOP than the Democrats are

It’s a beautiful day, son. Why don’t you go look at hentai on your phone outside?

Move over “covfefe”..

“Do you wanna split something light like the house salad? cause I’m thinking of getting the sheet cake for my main.”

Ordering a full sheet cake at a steakhouse like it’s a porterhouse

I was on Mr. Beast's show but they cut my part because I brought a gun and shot at him and it caused him to make a sound that he didn't want the public to know about.

*Going 85 down the highway throwing trash out the window while I type this out* Taibbi really fell off

Listening to EUSEXUA with noise cancelling headphones and a sleep mask on while beating off

I will never watch whatever anime you recommend me for a ton of reasons but mostly because there’s still like 300 hours of Bar Rescue for me to view

Who tf is Teddy Swims and why aren’t they a hot lady?

*Robin Williams voice* Gooooood morning guys inside my ass