Ahab ApologhOoOooOost 👻

Interview on the news went well, but the ticker running beneath me was filled with news about a local pedophile getting caught. Not ideal

Watching The Ritual.

I want to leave spooky shit in the forest so bad

Apparently 61% of Americans are opposed to sending active military to US cities.

Anybody have thoughts on how to deprogram 39% of the United States?

My cat, lifting their head from snacking on their butthole: wait, what

Окей, 1) було мені перший раз готувати борщ, а 2) йоб твою мать

Wife guy, heartbroken: but what about all the unsolicited dick pics I sent you

Knowing makes it worse

bsky.app/profile/ahab...

This isn't funny. Ghouls face discrimination every day for the small, clammy husks they use to imitate human flesh

Put in one earbud and try to pass it off like you shuffling

CHATGPT: I understand where you're coming from. You worked really hard to get here, and now it's time to enjoy the fruit of your labors.

ISILDUR: So I should keep it? Elrond says I shouldn't

CHATGPT: The ring is precious. Sometimes friends don't have your best interests at heart.

ISILDUR: true

10 Horror Movies to get to know me by:

👽 They Live!
🐙 Dagon
👯 Us
🎙️ All You Need Is Death
💲 Society
🪵 Oddity
🌽 Invasion of the Body Snatchers
🦌 Sator
📺 I Saw the TV Glow
🐣 Hereditary

Counterpoint: you're correct, and I do not have a counterpoint

My grandma lost her home to a gambling addiction. Nuke it from orbit

Reading a good author, realizing I could never write this well, and thinking "well fuck, guess I'll just flip burgers"

*on my deathbed, squeezing my wife's hand as the light goes out of my eyes* did I skeet good, love? Did I... skeet good

Big if true

So... not Eel Jesus

After the first one, anything was possible. Total misnomer from there on out

I mean, the people who DO believe it can't even agree on how to interpret it, so why should we gaf

I just assumed that's how he got the name

My opinion of Tolkien was diminished when I learned that, not only was he around for «Dune», he hated it

Moon big red. Sky mad? Me tell tonight at 8 on talk box

Liking and unliking a post is clapping

a cartoon drawing of a robot with a bow tie ALT: a cartoon drawing of a robot with a bow tie

I like your idea better, but I stand ready

If anyone twists your words, I will twist their nipples [negative connotation]

When you saw eight footprints in the sand, that's when you knew your human centipede could be miles away by now

(and you can use the wheelbarrow for a million other things)

It's an altered yahoo headline that reads "I've been covring Prime Day sales for years -- please, end my suffering"