Goblin Punch

I watched Quest for Camelot yesterday and noticed that the falcon is the only competent one there.

DUNGEON BOSS. On the mountain top. Wrackton is an evil blind sage staff fighter, Level 7. Death Wing is a Lvl 10 peregrine falcon that can fly 300 mph, decapitate knights in a single pass, and blow over a horse with his shockwave. He has the mind of a normal trained falcon.

I'm gonna start keeping firearms and survivalist supplies near my desk. :(

I think laced boots are what miners wear because they have to go into mines. Over time full-laces just became miner-coded.

Blacksmiths, sitting in their comfy shops, can afford to wear their boots with every other hole laced. (Or like, some comfy steel toe slippers, idk.)

I've done some thinking and realized that I'm a blacksmith.

There are only two genders. Don't pretend that there aren't.

So be honest. Are you a blacksmith or a miner?

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/08/dwar...

Magic Amulet - Endowment of the Flesh God.

Focus on a creature to see through their eyes and learn their greatest desire. If you fail an easy Cha save their greatest desire overwrites your own greatest desire.

Also, your bloodstreams commingle, sharing the effects of any potion, intoxicant, etc.

MONSTER: Atrocidon. Stats as ogre. Appear in packs of 1d3+1. Powerful lizard-hulks but effectiveness is crippled by their overriding urge for cruelty. Will *always* attack the weakest person. Will *always* go out of their way to trample a baby. Famously easy to control in this way.

Design Your Locks With More Keys Every adventure's puzzle should have multiple solutions. In this article, we figure out how to give all of our metaphorical locks a ring of keys.

When you design obstacles or puzzles in a dungeon, you should pack the dungeon with multiple solutions. The weirder, more esoteric, and more flavorful—the better.

www.explorersdesign.com/designing-lo...

That's an oof.

I mean, we could probably do a recap. Highlight the interesting bits of dungeon design, interesting player choices, etc.

Combat is only a fail state if it's too costly relative to the rewards. The costliness can come from HP, resources, or the player's time.

OSR games tend to have hard combats, which are frequently too costly (unless the players engineer some advantage).

I think Patrick did a long post about a Really Bad Dog and I think about that whenever someone mentions a good dog.

St. Cascarrion, the Vampire Vampire Hunter

The Sad Kraken

Nameless Queen Yama

Opaline, the Librarian

Davok the Demon

But at the end it turns out you've been married to the False Hydra and just forgot about it.

It's April Fools, so all TTRPG bloggers should be looking at their old content and deciding which characters they'd put in their dating sim.

That's tremendous and only a little bit upsetting.

I hope I don't sound *too* much like a communist, but automation has really helped billionaires do more without relying on other humans for labor. AI is going to be the same thing, but for human creativity and brainpower.

On the other hand, look how cute it is.

I'd be interested.

Naturalists think that this is what happens to liches whose phylacteries are destroyed. Huge tortoises are just unusually vulnerable at the astral level, and tortoise brains are very erosive to human memories.

I agree with that. The constant repetition of the agenda gets tedious, though, kinda like Philosophy in the Boudoir.

Animal Farm did it right. So did Candide.

A Monster - Emperor Tortoise

Cruel carnivores. 800 lbs, but no natural attacks. Can cast *magic jar* to swap bodies with you. While piloting your body, they'll jump off a cliff or drown you. Then they switch back and eat your corpse. Cha negates.

Plan B is hiding in their shell and screaming.

Magic Item - Ghast Pituitary. If you eat this and then eat someone's brain, you can learn *roughly* what they knew, but you need to succeed on a Cha save or have your personality permanently altered to be more similar to theirs.

Another Cha save, or you'll adopt 1 of their values/goals.

I started reading Atlas Shrugged and yes, it's pretty propagandish. BUT it is actually kinda fun to read if you treat it like pure fantasy.

Like LotR is also kinda propandish but we don't care because it's a fantasy world that doesn't touch our world.

It's just another opportunity for players to show their morality in a not-real-world way.

If you eat a few crumbs as an ant and then turn back into a human, you'll be super hungry. Ant glycogen stores are nothing compared to your requirements.

This question comes up everytime someone is transformed into an animal. Can you use ant-form to make your rations last forever?

My answer is that energy (calories) are conserved, so if you turn into a horse, you turn into a hungry horse, with low blood sugar.

Yeah but it's okay because it's not *my* fetish.

MAGIC ITEM - Green Glass Lance

Once per day, when you take damage from a ranged attack, you may teleport to the source of the damage. If you do, you make an immediate melee attack against them with a +4 to hit.

The Hungering Dark Go into the earth, and reality will walk alongside you.   Walk further, and you will eventually be walking alone. The world is plastic down ...

I wrote a monster? Maybe it's more a dungeon hazard. It's mostly just a big thing that you run away from, meant to be The Big Thing on a dungeon level.

goblinpunch.blogspot.com/2025/03/the-...

This is probably my favorite magic item, honestly.

Magic Item - Mind Bandit Amulets:

Always produced in pairs. As long as both amulets are worn, the brains and eyes of the two wearers are swapped. Ends if one of the wearers dies or if the amulet is taken off.