Minturn Alexander

I paid a random “street photographer” £3 for this glamour shot. It’s October, it’s 29 degrees C - 82 Fahrenheit and humidity is at 100% the hat is hiding an atrocity. I look like a Jewish bar mitzvah DJ. there is no hope for me. 🙃

Day 2 in China and it’s time to change cities, it’s just me and my fake rimowa suitcase and fake bottega veneta hold-all against the world.

Sichuan - home of the Panda! 🐼

I’ll take 5, put it in the bag.

Met this cat at the temple, the sign says “don’t touch, I scratch” ask me how I found out!

Just arrived in China and was greeted by this pet bunny, not sure if it’s real or if I haven’t slept for 16hrs but your boy is OVERWHLMED 🙀

Honestly, what those Bolsheviks did was criminal. Those poor girls and their hot hot dad. 😪

Had my flu jab and covid booster before my trip and I am laid up in bed watching The Adam’s Family values 1993, with the amazing Joan Casack as the iconic Debbie Jelinsky.

I could… but I’m going to cry and see if they upgrade me for free first. 🤭

It’s fine I’m sure I can fix it somehow, but that’s a problem for future me.

Just realised the hotel I specifically booked for the view, on the 36th floor of a skyscraper in Chongqing…. Is a windowless room. 🤦🏼‍♂️ I shouldn’t be in charge of booking things.

RIP Joan, you’d have loved fire extinguishers 😪

Who is this diva?!

Okay let’s try breaking these in again. I wore red socks to hide the blood.

If anyone wants to step over her, Diana also makes a surprise appearance at the entrance to the National Gallery in London, as the muse Polyhmnia - by the mosaicist Boris Anrep (1933)

Shhhhh everyone. My niche special interest is on.

As one of those kids raised by their grandparents, I thought until I was 18 that the single most erotic thing a man could do was wear a pair of shorts below his navel. Turns out I was wrong.

This is my story…

I guess it’s bed time?

Simply not possible 🤭

You never forgot it

I opened the window I still ain’t cleaning it but

This was supposed to be an adorable pic of my dogs frolicking by our blossom tree out back - I just haven’t cleaned any pollen from windows this summer but if you squint and use your imagination you’ll see it’s really cute! 🥰

Why was there never a woman in that office? Nobody breaking through the glass ceiling there anytime soon.

Them foreigners taking our jobs 😔

You’ve been away a while… what did you find?

Have y’all met my friend’s cat? His name is Gomez. He doesn’t really know he’s a cat he acts like a dog and he’s a lil bit special but we love him

Just got a little mullet cut in, it’s giving rat tail 🐀

I’m dog-sitting a dog, that likes to sleep 24 hours a day. The last elderly dog I looked after died of an aneurysm in my care, the day they were due back, so needless so say I am constant ball of anxiety checking she is still breathing every 5 mins. I don’t want to get a name as a dog murderer 😭