David Dancer

I just fed him like 30 minutes ago. 🫩

I’ve broken *2* different chip clips this week. Two different styles and manufacturers. One really bumped me out because it was from my first Target run in LA when I got my first apartment alone. It was from that shitty 40-piece Chefmate kitchen set. I also ate a thc confection an hour ago.

This notification could have had a way better ending.

This app is missing a lot of content I desire. For example:

My cat printed on a cookie being eaten by my cat.

I’m guessing I’ve eaten at least 10 silica packets in my adult life. Almost 11 if you count the 1 I just coughed up from the bottom of this carton of Harry & David Moose Munch.

This restaurant is SO fancy. I can sense James Beard’s ghost haunting over the kitchen.

Viral chicken sandwich acquired. No Instagram needed, but Google Maps mislead me.

I had Illustrator open and my brain is mush. 😔

😐

Everyone’s a drinkfluencer now.

I need to get to the office so I can sit and wait to buy Kraftwerk tickets while I pack up my desk. 😎

~Status Update~

😵‍💫

Adding cat content for the proper social media balance.

Can people stop using Facebook Marketplace and go back to Craigslist? I still need to buy garbage to store in my closets.

😔

I will use this now.

Today @ the supermarket (Fry’s), the recorded greeting playing over the intercom said “We hope you’re enjoying the holiday music. Thank you for shopping w/ us.” but the previous song was Tom Tom Club’s Genius of Love and now I’m wondering if it’s about Santa getting out of jail and doing cocaine? 🤔