Brandon

Saw two movies over the weekend that turned out to be a thematically resonate double feature.

Companion (theaters): Fun!
Birdeater (Amazon Prime rental): Fucked up! But fun!

Both deal, in different ways, with male insecurity and the physical/emotional violence it spawns.

Bob Dylan: Boomer Cryptid

(complimentary)

Imagine the American Presidency being viewed by history as a minor road bump in your exceedingly long life of nearly uninterrupted good deeds and correct opinions. Jimmy fuckin’ Carter, man.

The next CEO slayer should mark their place in history by engraving their bullet casings with the words “It’s-a,” “me,” and “Mario!”

there's too many things happening, every thing should have to reach its conclusion before another thing can happen

Love this time of year. The nogs and puddings and such.

It’s terrific that two of our most powerful elected leaders are so old that they’re all fucked up from falling over.

If you don’t understand the meaningful semantic difference between “homeless” and “unhoused” I’ve got a 5th grade to introduce you to.

Turducken is a duck stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a turkey. It’s fuckin’ fowl.

Snorks were just underwater Smurfs. More cartoons should’ve done that. SCUBA Doo, for instance.

The abolition of the barbaric, centuries-long Chinese tradition of foot binding was no small feet.

Why are balls the only thing we wiffle?

if a movie from the 1970s is going to do one thing it's get harvey keitel with the hardest nipples you've ever seen and have him play a catholic

100 Feet Tall Aesop Rock · Integrated Tech Solutions · Song · 2023

Also this Aesop Rock song about that time he met Mr T is good too

open.spotify.com/track/4xLYjJ...

The Trapeze Swinger - Live Iron & Wine · Who Can See Forever Soundtrack · Song · 2023

Iron and Wine’s The Trapeze Swinger. Pretty song. Good version.
open.spotify.com/track/1vDbCW...

I love tater tots, but the name "tater tots" is unsophisticated. I'm going to start calling them "potato children."

I like thousand island dressing but if I'm being real, that's too many islands.

Bears repeating:

BEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBEARSBE

I bet Andre a Giant was pissed when Andre the Giant came along.

Rewatched Die Hard. It is clearly an action movie.

Who’s your favorite Jeremy who gnashed his teeth and bit the recess lady’s breast?

I've watched all the Spaghetti Westerns. On to the Lasagna Dramas.

From the culinary visionaries that brought you Egg Slut, be on the lookout for these new establishments opening soon:

Waffle Trollop
French Toastitute
Lascivious McGriddle
and
Panskanks

Hope to see you there!

I’m the guy who gets The Rock those little shirts. He says "make me look like fourteen softballs in a cotton sack" and I say okay.

Love this review for the 1981 werewolf movie WOLFEN

Don’t even talk to me about a scheme unless it’s harebrained.

It's time we abandon horsepower. Should be carpower. This car? Pretty standard - one carpower. Sportscar? Two carpower. Wow. Big truck? THREE carpower. Crazy.

Every generation believes that they are the last, that the world will end with them. It appears that this generation may be right. Here, at the end of all things, I have but one wish: I kinda wanna hear the Grizzly Man audio.