alienkabalien

New Corkscrew Whirlycoaster IUD Gets Sperm Cell Too Dizzy To Find Uterus

New Corkscrew Whirlycoaster IUD Gets Sperm Cell Too Dizzy To Find Uterus
theonion.com/new-cor...

Update on my pixel art guide for beginners:

Transferred all the information from Tumblr to a Google Doc, so anyone who doesn't have a Tumblr account can now read through the whole thing!
I also updated quite a bit of information too.
I hope it will help somebody!

docs.google.com/document/d/1...

Trip To Asia Gives Man New Understanding Of How Soup Can Be Breakfast

Trip To Asia Gives Man New Understanding Of How Soup Can Be Breakfast
theonion.com/trip-to...

Excuse me but

Every piece of early Pikachu art is a blessing on this imperfect world

Make sure your RPG battle transitions, scene composition, and attack animations are at least as cool as this Taiwanese DOS RPG from 1995

Streaming Algorithm Recommends Man A Bunch Of Man Movies

Streaming Algorithm Recommends Man A Bunch Of Man Movies
theonion.com/streami...

A cartoon by War and Peas shows a bird sitting in an airplane seat, wearing a seatbelt and angrily saying to a man next to them, "Why don’t you mind your own fuckin’ business."

Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones

Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones

News reader at a desk. Transcribed Text: Left bubble: "Next up we will discuss the topic with someone whose job is to be a well researched and respected expert in the area." Right bubble: "And in the interest of balance we will also talk to an idiot."

In the interest of balance #news

Fearless Man Bravely Ventures Out Into U.S. Economy

Fearless Man Bravely Ventures Out Into U.S. Economy
theonion.com/fearles...

4-Panel Comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A UFO hovers in the night sky, beaming up a man named Jerry with a bright yellow tractor beam. Panel 2: Two people watch the abduction. One exclaims, "They're abducting Jerry!" Panel 3: As the UFO flies away, the two people remain unbothered. One says, "Thank God! I never liked him." The other replies, "Yeah, me neither." Panel 4: Onboard the alien spaceship, Jerry is seated on a throne, surrounded by decorations, gifts, and an alien celebration. An alien reassures him, "They didn't deserve you, Jerry."

Our new book "Hi, Earth" is available now via @andrewsmcmeel.bsky.social 📚

these people are literally trying to destroy america’s future

Egg Companies Assure Customers Dozen Has Always Meant 9 JACKSON, MS—Seeking to assuage consumer concerns about dwindling supplies, the nation’s egg companies reportedly assured shoppers this week that a dozen has always meant nine. “While we have seen some...

Egg Companies Assure Customers Dozen Has Always Meant 9 theonion.com/egg-companie...

I’ll give it a shot.

No One At Laser Tag Prepared For How Hard Dad Was Going To Bring It

No One At Laser Tag Prepared For How Hard Dad Was Going To Bring It
theonion.com/no-one-...

To the couple at tonight’s University of Indiana screening of TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE who were both seeing it for the first time and who were on a date — I love both of you and hope you go the distance.

yeah of course i know where the power rangers talk to zordon

I apologise to everyone who follows this account for investment advice and who lost money due to my recent post “invest all your money in hamburgers”. It turns out I was just hungry

new pokemon just dropped

Stern business man speaks into mic "i would like to make a statement" zoom out to see he is wearing an electric green mini squirt and heels. legs look fabulous "i will not be answering questions"

I don't know what gamer bros need to hear this, but women and girls playing The Sims are not, and I say again, NOT, playing it like it's a dress up doll simulator. They're out there making Jigsaw look like a rolemodel. They make GTA Online players seem stable.

Stay in your lane, stay safe. IYKYK

play it cool

Comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: Two green aliens are at a press conference, sitting behind microphones. One alien happily says, "Jesus? We love that guy!" Panel 2: A human reporter with a microphone looks surprised and says, "We’ve been waiting centuries for his second coming." Panel 3: The first alien casually responds, "Really? He comes to us every year." The second alien adds, "We invited him for cookies. What did you do?" The reporter starts to sweat. Panel 4: Both aliens pause, looking inquisitive. One alien asks, "Wait. What did you do?" All reporters sweat.

Explain this, humankind

Comic by War and Peas. Panel 1: A man stands beside a bench where a woman is sitting. He asks, "What are you doing?" Panel 2: The woman, seated with her hands clasped, replies, "I'm having fun inside my head." Panel 3: The man, now looking intrigued, asks, "Can I join you?" The woman responds simply, "Yes." Panel 4: The man sits beside the woman on the bench, both looking serene as a single cloud floats in the sky.

Soulmates

The comic on the first page of my 2025 calendar 😌

All you newbies drawing their first comic and haven't printed their comic before: 300 dpi, CMYK colours, bleed and safety, 0 0 0 100 K black text on a separate layer. Make sure you have all of these on all of your comics files, otherwise you'll end up like me having to fix 660 pages of my webcomic

It's JEFF!

Have you played Marvel Rivals yet?

This is Jeff The Land Shark, from Marvel Comics and the most unique playable character in the new Marvel Rivals game, and he was so adorable I had to draw him!

A5 Bristol board, drawn with Pentel Pocket Brush, Pigma Micron 0.8 and Letraset Marker