mike jolkovski

Someone said “monkey needs a piece of paper from another monkey to cross an imaginary line” and I cannot see a flaw in this characterization

POS NOS

Sadly, they are instead taking us along with them on a one-way trip to palookaville

Dunning-Kreugerrands

Trump even uses the autopen for his deranged tweets

Matthew 15:29-31: And great crowds came to him, bringing with them the lame, the blind, the crippled, the mute, and many others, and they put them at his feet, and he healed them after verifying their citizenship status.

Throw the book at him!

Jane Goodall was actually the only one keeping the apes in control. Now there's a power vacuum

We will have the enviable distinction of being the first hegemonic power to be toppled by vaporware

Easy: impound the vehicle until the responsible party arrives

That’s nothing. I saw a movie in which a child psychologist (played by Bruce Willis) was given an award by the mayor at a black-tie gala for being a good child psychologist. The rest of the movie was comparatively realistic, though.

…. as designed

Just to recap, the actual president found an AI-generated video of a fake news report depicting a fake announcement about an imaginary healthcare system based on a technology that doesn’t exist and posted it on his official social media account

It would be naive to dismiss the possibilities for further moves toward a military dictatorship…

But it’s also certain that this move is prompted by trump’s envy that Whiskey Pete was to address the assembled brass and not him. He considers the military to be his personal G.I. Joe action figures.

But there ain’t no sanity clause!

This is so goddamn important and powerful.

Fuck “we can’t acknowledge this outrage as an outrage because it will play into their hands”. Call a digging implement a digging implement. Tell the truth and shame the devil.

The point of recognizing that the main power we have is speaking as much as possible with precision & accuracy is to set us free from calculation: the BS that ranges from online performativity & machismo to spin to the fundamental violations of human solidarity urged by the consultant class.

I very much agree. Stick to speaking the truth. Insist on it.

Johns Hopkins should buy Ruth's Chris and make the world's fanciest and most confusingly named steakhouse for cannibals, Johns Hopkins' Ruth's Chris

this concept brought to you by: cocaine

a tasting flight of gravy shots

Top is an empty rectangle with a jagged line in the middle. The left side is labeled "Frame" "F is happening!" The right side is labeled "Negation" "F is not true!" Below is a large image of Kirby, a round pink blob with eyes with a small version of the Frame F shape flying into his mouth. To the right is a large pink rectangle labeled "Kirby" "K is happening, that's why they're saying F"

i made a template you can use to think about what "frame/negation/kirby" looks like for other issues.
For example:

Frame: DOGE is a govt efficiency project to save $

Negation: Actually it made things less efficient and cost $

Kirby: DOGE was a project to break and privatize federal bureaucracy

This is good. Be Kirby.

We have to concede that he is our foremost expert on vanity

You rightly encourage attention on Krafft-Ebing, who was a neurologist and a psychiatrist but not a psychoanalyst, for those who care about these distinctions.

Heyooo!

Trump seeks revenge on anyone he is indebted to. He is a deadbeat and attacks people who he owes. The very notion that trump needs (or once needed) anything from others fills him with rage.

Underestimate his perversity at your peril. Think you’re safe because you helped him? You in danger, girl.

i challenge you to find cooler news today than “despite all odds against American scientific research rn, a CO researcher developed a temperature-stable, single dose rabies vaccine that works bc of particles coated in CANDY & SAPPHIRE, & it could help reduce rabies deaths in places w/o electricity”

a female officer laying on her back on the ground, eyes open, lit with flashlights

BREAKING: Florida cop treated for autism after exposure to tylenol during traffic stop

It’s a fun word to say.