sam 🏳️‍⚧️

[after one orgasm] okay now let's do a silly one

Goldenglow in... special latex electrical safety gear

Commission for @shallow-esotericist on Tumblr!

every trans woman i know is simultaneously the smartest woman alive and the dumbest woman alive, and i think that's beautiful

Vibe coding has been great for me to be honest, but my coworkers have told me that they find the buzzing noise distracting.

Kello lying in bed, a vibrator loosely held in one hand, crumpled tissues everywhere, and their phone in the other hand. They’re look very bored, and they’re watching a train video. There are little specks of precum on their belly, and other indications that they have been trying to have an orgasm for a very long time.

2 hours of trying to cum later…

The International Space Station orbits lazily above the Earth. An astronaut says "I'm so bored. You wanna fuck?" Another astronaut says "yea sounds good." The first astronaut smokes a cig and says "hey, that was great." The second one consults the official NASA fuck book and says "oh shit... did you follow protocol 2B?" They both see the semen free floating within the station. One shouts out "OH GOD... THE JIZZ!" The space station explodes.

also I fucking love Seattle, stepped out of the venue for a guy in a full latex Seattle Mariners outfit

an ace lesbian is a lesbian who's shot down at least five other lesbians in aerial combat

That's what made me a dude for sure. All that robot-building I do.

It's here!

also, woof, your eyeliner is immaculate. ✨

I thought the typo was in “hot” and wasted too many cycles. 🫣

woof, that always stings. 🫂🫂

and we thank you for your service. 🫡

the dream of every trans girlie.

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is the girl penis of Taco Bell, in that it is both hard and soft at the same time and I like when it's in my mouth

you gotta talk to the machines, they are people too. :3

I love giving little headpats to my computers and they beep satisfactorily. but i once put my hand deep inside a Samsung washer and it played a little jingle and came all over me. 😬

the pro move is to be vegan and say chickpea a lot so you get all the deniability when you finally say that you’d love a chickpee sandwich. 😇

you’ve surely said chickpee a lot more than chickpea.

nah, that trick might work with other people, not you mate, sorry.

if you can’t naturally produce stupid deep within yourself, getting storebought and putting it deep within also works. :3

nothing hits better than a good breakfast,, except a girl who’s really buff and works out all day and does boxing on the side and has a thing for punching pathetic girls,,,

yeah apparently, didn’t even know this was an option. happy for you though.

omg 😭😭😭

this heart ain’t pure, it’s spray-painted styrofoam. *breaks it

Bernie Wagenblast, the iconic voice of @mta.info subways, has a message, the day after the feds took the letter "T" referring to trans people, off websites about the Stonewall National Monument. @thecity.bsky.social

nothing worse than feeling sleepy even after a solid 8 hours of sleep like i gave you what you wanted you fucking meatbag and you betray me like this!!

uh, one point four two.

10 obviously. :3

So which one of you is the puppy and which one of you is the kitty