Recalcitrant Hominid

Oscar pics:
Best Actor: Pim Cheeley (Grampalicious)
Best Actress: Brissy Granch (Chimp Mohel)
Best Supporting Actor: Gurt Wibbles (The Magic Bidet)
Best Supporting Actress: Bryndy Chibbs (Walrus Farm)
Best Director: Chammy DePru (Spoons of Chaos)
Best Picture: The Mime Eulogies

Which came first: the chicken salad or the egg salad?

The Pantsless Shitty Queefs. Is that anything?

A lot of people are afraid of death, but it’s life that’ll get ya

The fridge is packed with leftovers, so it’d be irresponsible NOT to eat pie for breakfast.

I’m going to miss all these texts

Who run Flavortown?

Guy Fieri (reluctantly): Master Blaster

Archery is pretty cool, but athletics wise, even the best archer is pretty much just standing there pulling a wire real good.

“Well, I'm hot blooded!”

okay

“Check it and see!”

No, I believe you

“I got a fever of a hundred and three!”

Jesus! Why did you even come in today? You should go home!

“Come on baby, do you do more than dance?”

Alright, I’m calling HR

Have you tried meowing incessantly and scratching at the door?

Gonna watch all my favorite Irish movies today. Oppenheimer, The Irishman, and Leprechaun 4: In Space.

Eggplant is the okra of also being gross.

♫♪ I wanna know ♫♪
♫♪ Have you ever seemed deranged? ♫♪

Cats don't give a fuck about rare astronomical events.

Suit yourself, but if Neil Diamond told me to turn on my heart light, I’d fucking do it.

TIL George Clooney was in both the 90s medical drama ER and the 80s medical sitcom E/R

If nobody has suggested naming her Baba O, they have now.

You are not alone. I'm starting to think that capitalism may not actually have the interests of the consumer at heart.

Not to hijack, but don't get me started on sizes. There should be two versions of XL. One for large athletic guys and one for portly ice cream enthusiasts.

I was seeing a human, with the brim as the nose and the nose as a Groeningesque upper lip. Anthropomorphic bird giggling with its beak agape in utter delight of the game is better though. MLB = manically laughing bird-man

A promo shot of Elijah Wood as Frodo from Lord of the Rings, overlaid with the face of the character Odo from Deep Space Nine. The caption reads Fr'Odo, with an apostrophe between the r and the capital O that follows. Kind of clever I guess.

Frankenstein was the doctor. The monster's name was Quilt Zombie.

“By hook or by crook” is a pretty stupid phrase when you realize a crook is just a long hook.

Being the tween kid of a geek dad isn’t easy. Just ask my daughters, Wampa and Gygax.

I watched Ozark like a year ago and I still can't get that goddamn Bob Seger song out of my head.

Kombucha is nasty tho

Image is of an early 1970's McDonald's placemat, on the center of which is pictured an early iteration of their famed mascot Grimace, who was, at the time, evil. He has four arms, each clutching multiple shakes. In the background on the right, Ronald McDonald and Mayor McCheese look on, horrified, as Evil Grimace makes off with their shakes. The placemat's edges contain ribbonesque flourishes, and the corners depict members of The Hamburger Patch, some looking at Evil Grimace, some side-eyeing one another. To the left of grimace is a poem, which reads: The Evil Grimace Ronald knows is round and purple and has big toes. He carries shakes in every hand as he scurries through McDonaldland.

He USED to be a piece of shit. Slicked back hair, four arms, sloppy shakes...

I really like Bluesky, but I'm somewhat disappointed in the lack of Grimace discourse.

My therapist went on a rant about how the intro to Lynyrd Skynyrd's "You Got That Right" was a rip-off of the theme to Simon & Simon, and got really defensive when I pointed out that the Skynyrd song preceded Simon & Simon by four years. Is that bad?

After toiling for years as a turd burglar, I've finally been promoted to queef thief!

Blue-sky idea: A smart shirt that tells you when it needs to be washed by off-gassing an unpleasant pungent odor.