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Martha O'Neill

@marthamon.bsky.social

Comedian, voice actor, aspiring writer, stained glass artist (neophyte), giver of awkward hugs. Canadian.

1,551 Followers  |  950 Following  |  574 Posts  |  Joined: 11.11.2024  |  1.6975

Latest posts by marthamon.bsky.social on Bluesky

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women

๐Ÿงต

06.11.2025 20:43 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 6182    ๐Ÿ” 2824    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 239    ๐Ÿ“Œ 618

"Penny for the Guy?" In THIS economy?!

#guyfawkes

06.11.2025 01:39 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Love the Blue Jays.

02.11.2025 04:42 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

It CAN go much louder

02.11.2025 04:04 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

My costume is chubby middle-aged woman. I am invisible!

31.10.2025 21:32 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 3    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Enjoy today for tomorrow Mariah Carey returns to torment us for 2 months.

31.10.2025 21:26 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
An abstract stained glass panel made with many bright colours in geometric shapes. 12 inches x 15 inches.

An abstract stained glass panel made with many bright colours in geometric shapes. 12 inches x 15 inches.

Latest stained glass project! Hope you like it!

31.10.2025 00:03 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger, coke! No coke, pepsi!

29.10.2025 03:14 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 25    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Last night's Jays game was almost exactly twice as long as "Titanic" but three times as depressing.

Anyway, GO JAYS!

28.10.2025 23:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

You have told me for the UMPTEENTH TIME.

27.10.2025 02:29 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 5    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I swear that all I see when he's up.

26.10.2025 01:24 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
"Get Behind Anything" 2025 MLB World Series Hype Video Promo | Toronto Blue Jays
YouTube video by @iamwillycool "Get Behind Anything" 2025 MLB World Series Hype Video Promo | Toronto Blue Jays

GOOOOO JAYS!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ali2...

25.10.2025 00:17 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
The image is a screengrab of the following text: "Every season lies, except for winter. Winter is the most honest season. Winter never promises you shit. No-one claims to love it. Nothing delightful ever happens in it. No good will ever come of it.

Iโ€™ve no idea when winter officially takes place but I consider it to start on the first day back at work in January. It begins the precise moment there is nothing left to look forward to. It ends whenever you first feel a faint glimmer of warmth on your face from the sun - probably sometime in April, perhaps late March if youโ€™re lucky.

In winter, everything is dead. It is nighttime when you go to work and nighttime when you leave, always nighttime really because in the day there is often no weather to speak of, just the ceaseless grey of the island. There are no bank holidays, or national days of celebration, or really any kind of item to mark the calendar at all. Thereโ€™s just Valentines Day - a day reserved for fools, in which they pay extortionate amounts to have dinner with their partner in public, so that they can demonstrate to all the other witless couples how thoroughly they have submerged the intimacies of their life to commerce and social expectation.

There is no texture to winter. Winter is a tomb. You just grind your way through it, January through to March, around 100 days of marrow-cold misery, and hope to come out the other side."

The image is a screengrab of the following text: "Every season lies, except for winter. Winter is the most honest season. Winter never promises you shit. No-one claims to love it. Nothing delightful ever happens in it. No good will ever come of it. Iโ€™ve no idea when winter officially takes place but I consider it to start on the first day back at work in January. It begins the precise moment there is nothing left to look forward to. It ends whenever you first feel a faint glimmer of warmth on your face from the sun - probably sometime in April, perhaps late March if youโ€™re lucky. In winter, everything is dead. It is nighttime when you go to work and nighttime when you leave, always nighttime really because in the day there is often no weather to speak of, just the ceaseless grey of the island. There are no bank holidays, or national days of celebration, or really any kind of item to mark the calendar at all. Thereโ€™s just Valentines Day - a day reserved for fools, in which they pay extortionate amounts to have dinner with their partner in public, so that they can demonstrate to all the other witless couples how thoroughly they have submerged the intimacies of their life to commerce and social expectation. There is no texture to winter. Winter is a tomb. You just grind your way through it, January through to March, around 100 days of marrow-cold misery, and hope to come out the other side."

Fuck winter, I hate it iandunt.substack.com/p/today-it-r...

24.10.2025 09:03 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 267    ๐Ÿ” 26    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 78    ๐Ÿ“Œ 15
Video thumbnail

news lately

23.10.2025 07:16 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 553    ๐Ÿ” 224    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 24    ๐Ÿ“Œ 28

Springsteen: Hey Mary! I wrote a song about you! It's called "Thunder Road".
Mary: OMG, how sweet!
Springteen: ๐ŸŽถ"You ain't a beauty, but hey, you're alright". ๐ŸŽถ
Mary:

22.10.2025 20:36 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

OMG. THANK GOD. #GoJays!

21.10.2025 03:01 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0
"Police focus on ladder placed against the side of the Louvre"

"Police focus on ladder placed against the side of the Louvre"

I spend a year plotting a mystery novel and then this happens.

20.10.2025 01:56 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 16722    ๐Ÿ” 2610    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 380    ๐Ÿ“Œ 220

It "appeared" to be an AI generated video of Trump flying a fighter jet dumping payloads of human shit on people

Meaning it's not impossible Trump actually was flying a fighter jet that dumped human shit on people

19.10.2025 20:16 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 110    ๐Ÿ” 17    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 8    ๐Ÿ“Œ 2
Back window of a black van covered with black and white photo of a man creepily staring ahead.

Back window of a black van covered with black and white photo of a man creepily staring ahead.

Mannequin of the torso and head of a man mid-butterfly stroke affixed on the roof of a white van near the front windshield.

Mannequin of the torso and head of a man mid-butterfly stroke affixed on the roof of a white van near the front windshield.

Spotted some really weird-ass vans this week.

15.10.2025 00:09 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Hard candy is a waste of sugar.

09.10.2025 23:14 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Dude

09.10.2025 03:10 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

GO JAYS!

09.10.2025 02:55 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Everyone in Toronto is either at or watching the Blue Jays game. Off to run naked through my neighbourhood. Ah, the freedom!

08.10.2025 23:21 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 2    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Once a pre-washed salad is open, it has the half-life of a RFK Jr brain cell.

06.10.2025 22:17 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

30 days hath September, April, June & November, all the rest have 31, except for February which is a POEM RUINER!

01.10.2025 03:12 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Let's take a moment and appreciate the people who call from 800 numbers, for they have to talk to people who answer calls from 800 numbers.

29.09.2025 00:02 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

One good thing about getting older is that people donโ€™t ask me when Iโ€™m due anymore.

24.09.2025 21:45 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 0    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Of course the Rapture is going to happen tomorrow - the Jays are doing too well.

23.09.2025 04:05 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Same!

20.09.2025 02:44 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 1    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I worked in the London bureau of a Cdn broadcaster in the mid-late '90s - part of my job was to shot-list the raw footage of feeds coming in from all over the world (during Chechnya, Bosnia, N. Ireland, S. Africa etc.) The stuff I saw, my god...still haunts me. Compartmentalizing is the only way.

13.09.2025 04:36 โ€” ๐Ÿ‘ 8    ๐Ÿ” 0    ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0    ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

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