Tenspeed and/or Brownshoe

I think I got a STD from just seeing this.

Yes. *pauses* And his wife did it!

Holy cow- look at the size of her... husband's hand, it's just like a regular human hand, but way, way smaller.

"Holy crap, I've met those two dudes...and they are fucking WEIRD... anyways, growl growl, woof, growl, woof!"

This. This EXACTLY, is what my day needed. Thanks!

"The tailoring shown here is of poor quality, specifically how the seam at the shoulder is cut too generously, resulting in a draping, deflated penis appearance. By contrast, a well made suit is measured correctly & hand stitched, sans deflated penis..."

Full disclosure- this is a really nice looking couch, but I'm not going to fuck it, because that would be pretty fuckin' weird.

A photograph of a ritzy fuckin' couch made by Hooker Furniture.

"When J.D. said he wanted to fuck me like a hooker, I just assumed he meant I should wear a little more mascara than him, but..."

Wright wrote wrong.

"Good evening! Slop & feedbags for two...?!"

Dude.

spotify.link/vEkndkOnSXb

Pairs well with a Homeowners Association.

CAVEST EMPTOR- this a gateway costume- six weeks from now, you're the pivot person in a Human Centipede with no exit strategy.

So you need four people?

WHAT THE FUCK NO SPOILER ALERT?!

Ouch.

That is fuckin' RAD...!

"...what was he announcing anyway?! I couldn't hear, the Tan Suit was too loud!"

"... something about about nuclear war, but seriously...Tan Suit?!"

"...we're back now with our panel, talking, of course, about this...Tan Suit...so, how many votes will this Tan Suit cost him? Can he even bounce back from something like this?!"

FACT- 71% of "pennies" is "penis."

Goddamn it, Jason.

"Wow, I have to be honest, Gary...your place looks like absolute shit, man."

"Thank you! I hired an idiot to run a robot remotely, & he's shitty at his job, but still...robot!"

In Johnson's defense, he's a lying fuckin' hypocrite with the i.q. of a goddamn "spoon".

So...a help wanted post for ICE featuring a...foreign actor?!
I...can't...even.

Jamie gets it.

Fuckin' DED.

This thing is a goddamn GEM

Why don't all the dogs have them?!

Perfect, two things Dick Junior likes- being high, & watching.

"When asked to comment, Johnson declined, citing concerns that reporters would be unable to hear him clearly, as his mouth is currently at capacity with the President's dick..."