charlotte

😈

actually somehow no lol!

i think his book is actually not similar to this other than with the concept of people turning into trees but it made me laugh. since twitter is basically dead maybe i should turn the fake books book list into a zine…? or a pamphlet?

Branching out: Australian author Rhett Davis makes his UK debut with a powerful novel about people who choose to turn into trees (it’s the cover of the new issue of the bookseller)

charlotte @ @tambourine 38. Daphne Novel about a woman who decides she wants to become a tree. Short, bizarre chapters in which she: paints herself green, tries different hallucinogens, and recounts the ways in which plants reproduce, etc. Blurb uses the word "anthropocene" but the novel doesn't.

sometimes i do see a description of a new novel and remember my fake new books list from 2020

head an inspector sands announcement on the tannoy at Whitechapel this morning… still unnerving to hear it in the wild tbh

it’s not, but it looks amazing! think that’s on an evening i’m working late alas

anyway i need to sleep but i did just book to see a couple of films next month at london’s premier grindhouse cinema

we changed to our winter duvet finally and it’s such a delight. extremely cosy. it’s the most wonderful time of the year!!!

hahaha me too. i’m constantly saying to her oh you’re just a little baby…

born in June 2023

two!

she doesn’t really meow, but she is talkative. it just sounds like this

things agnes likes:

food
cat teaser toys (feathers on a string etc)
crinkle noises
walking all over me while kneading
sleeping on me
walking over my chest while i say “OW”
licking my arm and hand vigorously
sitting in the window
squeaking
exploring the wardrobe
her cardboard box with paper inside

photo of Agnes lying over my chest

two weeks since we got agnes today :)

I enjoyed them a lot, then went back and listened to the bodies from the library series too (which preceded the ghost story ones)

oh yeah! me too!! there are the ghosts from the library collections of ghost stories by writers of classic crime fiction (??) but that’s the closest I’ve really found

we honestly need more audiobooks of horror/weird fiction short stories. it’s the perfect match of format.

enjoying gary budden’s london incognita on audio right now anyway!!

God is my witness that this took place. One day we were guests in a certain village and the Circassian who was our host wished to do a good deed. He went outside where he tarried a while. When he returned he brought a dinner-spread made of elk's skin, also a wooden trough-like a small vault or portico latif ravak gibi) full of honey and other troughs with cheese and pasta "Eat, O guests, may it be permitted, for health of my father soul," he said. We were starving, as though we had just been released from Ma'noglu's prison, and we laid into the honey so fast that our eyes could not keep up with our hands. But the honey was full of strange hairs which we kept pulling out of our mouths and placing on the spread. "Eat," said the Circassian, "this my father honey." Our hunger having abated, we continued to eat the honey at a slower pace, separating out the hairs. Meanwhile Ali Can Bey, a native of Taman in the Crimea, came in. "What are you cating, Evliya Efendi?" he said. "Join us," I replied. "It's a kind of hairy honey. I wonder if it was stored in a goatskin or a sheepskin." Ali Can, who knew Circassian, asked our host where the honey came from. The Circassian broke out weeping. "I took from my father grave," he said. I understood the words, but didn't quite grasp the import. Ali Can explained: "Last month his father died and he placed the corpse in a box on a branch of the big tree in the courtyard outside. Honeybees colonized the area around the groin and penis. Now, as a special favor, he has offered you honey with his father's pubic hairs. These are the hairs you have been separating out while eating the honey."Ali Can said this and went out. I followed him, with my gorge rising and my liver fairly bursting. "What kind of trick has this pimp of an infidel played on us?" I cried.

Then what should I see? Our Circassian host also came out, climbed up the tree where his father was and refastened the lid of the coffin-box, all the while weeping and eating the horrible honey. When he descended from the tree, he said: "Hadji! When want honey I bring you much father soul honey. Just say prayer." This was certainly a strange and disturbing event.

Have I brought this incredible piece of Evliya Çelebi’s travelogues to Bluesky from twitter (where it was originally posted by Alexander Jabbari who I don’t think is on here).

Please enjoy.

it’s a sub-200 page book previously called Abbey Lubbers, Banshees and Boggarts: A Who's Who of Fairies. which is also long out of print but can be got for not too much money.

as ever, i ask: who wants an abridged book??

Briggs's Dictionary of Fairies Katharine Mary Briggs (1898-1980) was a British folklorist, scholar and author, recognised today as the most important archivist of British folktales. Over the

got briefly excited that there’s a new edition back in print, but it’s a seriously abridged edition, based on an earlier one originally sold under a different title. looks beautiful, but that title is needlessly confusing blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/pro...

the cheapest of my two copies was £15. drop me an email at charlottegeater@gmail.com if you’re interested

checking instagram on a work account and got recommended a reel of “gordon brown asmr”

Snickers bar and a metal whistle

Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.

Kew woman fined £150 for pouring coffee down drain in Richmond Burcu Yesilyurt says the fine is

hmm, is it really likely that the framers of the Environmental Protection Act 1990 were thinking about people tossing a few millilitres of coffee down a street drain when they wrote section 33?

YouTube video by tambourine hobberdy dick music

Oh it’s wonderful. And oddly was turned into a Japanese animated series in the 90s (there’s a big interest in fairies in Japan I think). Not sure it ever aired in the UK, all that’s left is the music and a few clips of it. The theme tune is kind of cod-fairport convention youtu.be/aydsPfqA8I0?...

briggs is so good - recommend her two children’s books if you’ve not read them (which it feels like you probably have)! a joy to read writing so steeped in fairylore

I have a spare copy of this one with a slightly less good cover that I keep meaning to offer up to someone. anyone keen?

i’ll check how much it cost me, something like £13, i’d only be after cost price. a bargain (but not as good as £1.75 admittedly)

This is exactly the kind of thing a good editor will catch. Bring back editors. Give them human workloads so they can do what they do best—leave comments that poke holes in writers' nonsensical lines that they put in because they sound good, not because they make sense.

agnes the calico cat is sitting in a fairly big carrier and looking up at me sadly

the cat has been BETRAYED (taken to the vet for a check up)