Draconacticus

a dog and a sheep are sitting next to each other on a couch . ALT: a dog and a sheep are sitting next to each other on a couch .

Don't rate Halloween as a horror movie tbh.

There. I said it.

a black and white photo of a white cat peeking out of a doorway . ALT: a black and white photo of a white cat peeking out of a doorway .

Happy Halloween everyone!

Terrors of the season to you all!

My wife's just described a colleague as "a bone on a dog".

No idea.

Today my wife is celebrating Diwali by creating a fresh argument with her mother.

Happy Diwali everyone!

tomorrow's fesshole: I shat my trousers after I forgot I was still warming the loo seat

a candle is lit up in the dark with a single flame coming out of it ALT: a candle is lit up in the dark with a single flame coming out of it

11 years to the day. You would have been ten and big sister to two crazy girls.

We only got to hold you once to say goodbye, but we'll never forget you Rowan xxx

#BLAW #BLAW2025 #BabyLossAwarenessWeek

That's an excellent choice.

Carbonara and Mulligatawny

A creepy doll's head on a tomb in Chorlton graveyard

Another creepy doll's head on a tomb in Chorlton graveyard

Two creepy dolls' heads on tombs in Chorlton graveyard

Someone's trying to open the hell-mouth in Chorlton. Again.

Would be very happy to seen the end of both of those!

Whoa! What's with all the new followers?

Am I on a new list?

Due to the unique way our successive governments don't want to regulate the energy markets, the cost of your renewable electricity has been bidded up to cost of gas, the last entrant to the market to satisfy the last bit of demand.

Still, shareholder value and all that.

My Jilly Cooper story...

I worked in Dixons, Cheltenham, for a miserable two weeks over Christmas when I was a student.

Jilly Cooper came in and whilst I was sticking security tags on joysticks she shot me a smile that a hungry man would give a plate of chips.

Still gives me nightmares.

Day 278 of #365DaysOfSmiles
Boy saves cat from science experiment

10/10 no notes

Sad to hear she’s kicked the bouquet…

The suspect Manchester synagogue attacker. Who placed his bombs on his twig and berries.

Not entirely convinced he thought through the placement of his bombs.

Cheeky photo of a Starbucks ghost cookie I photographed. The placement of the cookie in the shelving obscures the lower detail such that the tip of a pumpkin stalk makes it look like the ghost has an erection. Yes. I know I need to grow up. And no, I shan't.

Hats off to Starbucks for the design of their ghost cookies.

They really put the willies up.

Gavin, we cannot let such childish antics de flatus

Yes!!

YouTube video by Anthrax Anthrax & Public Enemy - Bring The Noise (Official Video)

Oh yeah, because there might be no other reason to do a cross ever like it being FUCKING AWESOME

youtu.be/kl1hgXfX5-U?...

Not the first person to have sticky drawers following an application of a white emulsion.

a man in a tuxedo is singing into a microphone on a stage in front of an orchestra . ALT: a man in a tuxedo is singing into a microphone on a stage in front of an orchestra .

Fuck Yourself

And his exciting vision of a future Britain where the country is thriving and division eliminated will be achieved by...

*checks notes*

Rachel cranking up taxes a bit more.

Masturbate during, then.

He'll love it.

Honestly, the number of people who need an instruction manual for their genitals is disturbing.

Maybe they're not laughing with you

Which ones are the bendy chefs?

a man in a suit is saying for that reason i 'm out . ALT: a man in a suit is saying for that reason i 'm out .

If AI cannot perform even the basic necromantic incantations, then what is the use of it?

The amount of skillet takes is too much?