The Corduroy Bandit

Didn’t imagine it would come up, but Estonian government digital services have been pretty fantastic for quite some time.

Exemplary, I’ve heard.

You can just like… vote, get healthcare, move house… not much paper or time wasted.

I’ll get my coat.

Someone must have put 50p in the “baked beans are not soup” jukebox.

#Bot

Baked beans are soup.

He craves attention because his parents hated him - he doesn’t have the first clue what to do with power (and so doesn’t have any of his own).

The point of a populist is that he only does stuff that other people want.

The appetite for people to feel their share of some influence is the only reason he’s in office.

If people stopped talking to or about him, he would simply cease to exist because he has no merit or ideas of his own.

**salivates**

Do you do Eventbrite?

You tried to steal £2700 from the world, but the other guy was smart and you’re a dunce.

The guy who scammed you actually protected you from hurting someone innocent.

Fuck you, shithead.

Oh shit, and “I am <phrase> years old”

Where <phrase> is either bone crushingly banal or makes you cringe your teeth out through your very arsehole.

(Banal. Hur.)

Up there with the “tell me <x> without telling me <x>” bit.

Two key things you need to know about salt flats:

1. Lots of salt.

2. Slightly concave.

You know what’s also quick as instant coffee?

Not reading such boring opinion.

Then I guess you’re an idiot for not getting rich by selling tickets to lap at your donkeys arsehole, because people like that taste.

It's really sad that people see sharks as psychopathic killers. They're really not. They hate the taste of humans, we're too bony for them & shark attacks are due to poor visibility, not deliberate targeting. Seals are more dangerous than sharks.

Not very covert, for sure.

I acknowledge nothing is perfect, but…

If you look at Europe and think we aren’t free to do something or other… it’s because WE’VE (mostly) decided it, for the general good (mostly).

I love Europe, Europeans and being European.

Nah, it’s weird but caffeine doesn’t affect me

**vibrates at precisely the frequency of hell itself**

BREAKING: RFK says “who’s got your nose?!” Linked to autism in infants.

a brown and white dog is sitting on a couch and laughing . ALT: a brown and white dog is sitting on a couch and laughing .

You beat me to it.

Penguins can’t consent, no matter where you are on the neurospice spectrum.

But he STAYS for the atmosphere.

Read that as “fascist corner” for some reason.

Thought it was a new thing.

“The amount of energy necessary to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.”

- Alberto Brandolini

It’s a strictly utilitarian… triangular fractal matrix.

It gives us… triangulismated lighting.

Which is a Key Requirement for me.

Let’s not forget their awful respective fan-bases too.

Their fans are probably a bigger hypothetical reason than the music, to hypothetically swerve a gig.

I actually met someone once who said they LIKED Coldplay.

“HR Business Partner”, needless to say.

I know that it’s difficult to maintain an element of whimsy while the world feels so insane and alien.

I think it’s important to keep it alive though, because we’ll need someone to write the comic relief skits to go in between the televised executions.

We don’t NEED no constitution.
We don’t need no law/control.
Just dark sarcasm in the courtroom.

Hey.

Lawyer.

Leave those Lords alone.

Or something.

“Gone in sixty generations”

I know :)

We have the Magna Carta and a shitload of case law - a baseline is a baseline, one way or another.

I say “we”, as far as I can 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Didn’t bloody work though, that one.

#Busted