Lauren 👩🏻‍🦰

To avoid disappointment, expect nothing from nobody.

i'm too young for back pain and memory loss

What. A. Game. 🤯

I don’t even spiral anymore. I just gently rotate like a flavorful rotisserie chicken

Jinx the bobtail tabby cat ignoring momma by looking off in the distance as she tries to take her photo.

Cats can hear 4-5 times further than humans can.
Which makes it all the more impressive when they choose to ignore you

Me watching people call me

Pitch dark outside. Nobody shall see me again until March.

Thoughts are with the staff at HMP Wakefield. Imagine having to go home to your family after dealing with that, doesn’t bear thinking about. 👮🏻‍♀️🗝️

Me at 1:30am Me at 6am

Nothing comes close to the the London Boys for effort and professionalism, RIP you hi NRG manhunk gymnasts #totp

It’s just a saga now

We had Tim Healey as the guest on Saturday night, it was great!

Probably because I saw Inside No. 9: Stage/Fright on Saturday at the fabulous Sunderland Empire.

I have a smear test later today. Last night I dreamt that Reece Shearsmith performed it. It was awks.

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

All episodes of Eurotrash are now on Amazon Prime, what a time to be alive.

I’m sure my tits used to be higher up

Leaving the cat at home makes me sad.

Monday

Mr Burns’ best look IMO

I’m watching Dracula and every fucking time I watch this movie I lose my mind at his hair.

I've seen loads of vampire films and one thing I've learnt is virgins attract them. My advice? Stick with slags.

10/10

Scandalous. It’s the best!

Just watching something about a cult and one of the ex members said they weren’t allowed to have crisps and this is why I will never join a cult x

#Would