Joe, but like... spooky

thank you thank you

one of my neighbors is setting off fireworks for every kid who comes by trick-or-treating, which must be a blast for the kids, but my dogs are taking exception to the idea

Only ever done one Halloween costume and I feel like I’ll never top it so I don’t try.

oops accidentally posted a pic of my bsky crush

61 days left in the year and only 25 of them are work days for yours truly

of course "zombie" by the cranberries is a halloween song. it's called "zombie" (famous scary thing). and of course it is a thanksgiving song. it's by the cranberries (famous sauce).

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

Man Wouldn't Have Worn Costume To Work If He'd Known He Was Getting Laid Off

this book rules so far btw

could the orlando magic be the best team in the history of the sport of basketball?

can we get some fuckin representation for ugly guys for once. just asking for one slob to commit a righteous crime against capitalism and/or imperialism.

once in a while I like to remind myself that we live in a timeline where a dead cop got called "deedee mega doodoo" on the news. most of the good timelines probably don't have that.

Political experts paint an increasingly dire picture. They expect that by 2035 the US will turn into a lawless wasteland called the Battlerealm. Their analysis predicts everyone will fight to obtain Skaxx, a street drug that makes you good at karate

Perfect.

Dark And Stormy... Morning?! This Man Still Has To Go To Work Even Though It's Raining A Little

A roughly drawn chart with large text at the top that says "recognizing ghost types" with a subtitle that says "there are many kinds of ghosts and we can learn about all of them, ok" Then there are several drawings of different ghosts, mostly sheet ghosts of sorts Rude - on a skateboard, flipping the bird Discreet - wearing sunglasses and a hat Long - long Hunk - has handsome chiseled features Forgotten Chores - is looking at a to do list Satan - has horns Pervert - has a giant foot Melting - goop Dad - has a mustache and wrinkles Bird - has a beak and wings Sultry - is laying down with a hand on its head 2 Parter - is cut in two horizontally Freaky - a weird looking one that has arms and legs and giant eyes and a sideways mouth Past Memory - inside a polaroid Floating Head - you can figure this out, it's a severed head Flat - i think you get the idea tiny - very small, this is also self explanatory mouth - mouth video tape - a small ghost coming out of a tape silly - wearing groucho glasses and has a fake arrow through head headband And a big one in the center labeled "normal style"

Let's Learn about types of ghosts

wow... I just invented ai 2... such dangerous and alluring power...

the median lib wine mom opinion is "abolish the punishment chair" yet democratic leadership still supports the punishment chair

this is the punishment chair. you sit here when you are punished.

why are they stopping after only 9 tonight

"good day sunshine" is a stupid af pull for interstitials lol

watching a pot atm... when tf this thing gonna boil

it's so nice that they keep cutting to commercial with all these "look at the silly faces shohei ohtani made 🙂" montages

saw a guy in a trump hat and a dodgers shirt earlier today... does he not know his guy is planning on deporting all the best baseball players and dropping a nuke on los angeles?

hell yeah, just what I'm looking for

this one looks promising...

I'm gonna finish my spooky book tonight and I'll need another to get me through halloween - anyone have any good recommendations?

incredible bit

Text: HOW ANIMALS WORK IN SWAN BOY EVERYBODY'S AN ANIMAL PERSON. THERE ARE ALSO ANIMALS. THIS IS NOT CONSIDERED STRANGE. Beneath is an image of a hardcore guy who's a rhino next to an actual rhino. A redhead turtle with sort of an early 60s haircut next to an actual box turtle. And Rona next to an actual sphynx cat. That's right she's a cat. Get over it.

Text: ANIMAL PEOPLE ARE AWARE THAT THERE ARE ANIMALS THAT LOOK LIKE THEM BUT THERE'S NO MORE SOLIDARITY THAN YOU HAVE WITH, LIKE, A CHIMP. AN EAGLE GUY WOULDN'T BE LIKE "MY CULTURE IS NOT A COSTUME" ABOUT AMERICAN ICON-OGRAPHY. I MEAN MAYBE ONE GUY WOULD TRY IT BUT IT WOULD BE A WEIRD MOVE. Image: a middle aged bald eagle man who looks like he works in Dilbert's office next to an actual bald eagle

Text: "BUT BRAAANSON! YOU HAD A STRIP EARLY ON WHERE YOU IMPLIED DOGS -AND THEREFORE ALL ANIMALS-ARE CANONICALLY LITTLE MEN!" SO I DID. I CHANGED MY MIND. Image: a dog woman walking a tiny nude man on a leash. He's running away from a poop.

I will be taking no further questions

having the kind of bad day where spilling black coffee all over my white shirt has brought the average up a tick