a s h l e y 🦩

How morally bankrupt do you have to be to send me work emails at 145 pm on Halloween Friday?

i think they'd let me pet

I think they’re lying and this is just a way to keep me from getting a free rhesus monkey 🐒

Sexy Tommy Moffitt, which is redundant

He was behind me when we had to evacuate the stadium during the torrential downpour before the sc state game

Maybe the juju cleanse only works for baseball, idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

💅🏽 💅🏽

A tale as old as time

Is it possible that Beamer thinks the offensive part of offensive coordinator is an adjective and not a noun?

A garnet T-shirt that says “omaha…South Carolina gamecocks home away from home 1975, 1977, 1981, 1982, 1985, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2010, 2011, 2012” and seeing as it is now 2025 and we haven’t even sniffed Omaha in 13 years…it had to go

A pile of garnet fabric

I’ve been meaning to destroy this shirt for years since it is clearly bad juju, and today seemed as good a day as any

a woman in a white tank top is holding an apple ALT: a woman in a white tank top is holding an apple

No doubt at the sphere let’s goooooooooooooo

Could I abandon my principles for twice my current salary for a fully remote gig tho? Probably!

I keep getting LinkedIn job alerts about a procurement manager position at Raytheon, and I cannot explain enough how much I don’t want to do that

I don’t think they should’ve given the pumpkin king so much power in Halloween town

Screenshot from Columbo. He his talking to his dog, which is sitting is the drivers seat of a car. “Okay, I’m gonna put you in charge. You take care of the car. You’re a responsible dog. When I get back, if the car’s okay, I’ll give you another cookie.”

“If the car’s gone,”

“I’ll give you another cookie anyway”

“because I love you.”

Happy Columbo’s Day

a man wearing a new orleans saints shirt with a paper bag on his head ALT: a man wearing a new orleans saints shirt with a paper bag on his head

As a South Carolina alum and a saints fan, I also am straight up not having a good time

I lived next to a gal last year who was a penn state and South Carolina alum, and I assume she is now straight up not having a good time

Oh…anyway…

The list of things the disgraced sheriff of my home county in SC bought with his county-issued card is certainly something

It is 430 am in Albania and I still have an hour before my flight, I hate life

You know how when adults go back to their parents' house everyone slips back into the roles they played decades earlier, sometimes to toxic effect?
Shane Beamer played Virginia Tech and all of a sudden offense is just a way to kill time between defensive and special teams touchdowns.

It is after 8pm in Montenegro, the sun went down two hours ago, and we’ve been driving all over the countryside because the road to get through the capital is blocked due to political protest…sadly, not even the worst time I’ve had in a former yugoslavian state

So far on this trip, I’ve learned Dua Lipa, Bebe Rexha, Ava Max, Eliza dushku, and Danny devito are all of Albanian descent.

It is 8:20 pm in Albania, and all I’ve eaten today is a banana and a serving of baked cheese, god bless me, it’s summa

A tuxedo kitty with his front legs on a table, and his back legs on a chair. He wants some of the red wine in my wine glass

I am in Albania, where a kitty tried to purloin my wine at a winery (we did not let him). 🐈 🍷

Mason Jar?