🌑 [ALT ⋆ DNI]

shes one of the kindest people ive ever met, im so glad shes my doctor

she quietly held my hand while I talked a bit and then hugged me after can she be my mom instead

I feel absolutely stupid crying because my mom started spewing some bs while at my doctors appointment in front of my doctor

luckily she left and my doctor is the sweetest and understands my struggles and suggested some things for me to do and try instead of going w my moms shit

rotting decomposing erasing fading i am not a real being im just a figment of reality being distorted beyond comprehension leaving a mirage for others to see

its gone now but im tired and its left me with a headache aughhh

I can stand up and walk around without crumpling in on myself like a startled isopod now but ough. augh. eugh.

can I stop having random unknown pains please please please please pleaseeee

can I go. one day. without making myself bleed. no I cant. I havent had a day like that in a while cause I cant stop picking at my skin. 99% of my scars are because of me. I look like ive been shot a thousand times over and the skin around my face peels like old bark I hate it so much

I hate my skin i hate my skin i hate it so much I want to rip it off and replace it entirely

beep boop beep boop

although I realize pain is so fleeting that I won't do much anyways

whatever, ill try do smth else

//// self-harm

kind of want to relapse just to feel the pain from it,, I like the scratching feeling of pins

the urge to stop my meds for a bit again just to feel smth

the pain is gone for now i think, imma quickly brush my teeth for bed before it comes back suddenly or smth im tired

ok i was able to sit in bed, I just cant take my hand off my right side else the pain comes back immediately,,, fun

imma hope this goes away soon or else I wont be able to sleep

LET ME LIE DOWNNNN IT HURTS

im just sitting at the edge of my bed trying not to move, I want to lie down but I cant im just here clutching my entire waist

its happened before but not this bad jfc

im in excruciating pain rn and idk why, moving or breathing hard triggers a sharp pain in my abdomen this feels hellish

I get this a lot a well so I understand,, breaks are good sometimes, but try not to isolate and take care. im always available if you ever wanna talk as invididuals with similar dispositions (or just for funsies cause I enjoy chatting w you)

why am I rapidly deteriorating again bruh I feel like theres a hole in my chest

YEY TANKUU 🔥 I need to draw her properly one day

she looks a bit more like this

my genshin oc elowen 🔥 I have not properly drawn her before but shes my s/i for both layla and flins (both familial/platonic)

mine are literal night and day,,

maybe ??? I think ive been moving around the same though so idk,,

THE OFFICIAL ACCOUNT ON T/WT POSTED AN IMAGE WITH THEIR SWORDS,,

//// weight talk

I finally reached 100 lbs again hell yeah

,,except ive been eating less the last couple weeks so how tf did I gain weight??? this makes no sense but ok

TF DO YOU MEAN K4FK4 AND BL4D3 ARE COMING TO F0RTN1T3 KMS WHY H0Y0 WHY

tanku, I hope so as well,,, ive had a shoulder injury for a while and was never completed phys therapy for it cause of covid, so I have a feeling its coming back to get me now 🥀

I will, I luckily already have monthly doctor appointments so I will be seeing my doctor soon 🔥

my bones hurt so bad today cause of how cold it is and my shoulder still hurts a lot when I move it ough