Bill Hayden

Is a robot barista different in some way from a... Coffee machine?

I've just received an email at work (from a third party) advising me that "Boss's Day" is next week, and that I should start a group card.

Already? It seems like it was only Landlords' Day last week!

We make them what they are. If we go, the good stuff goes with us.

How could you live rent-free in such a small space?

Oh no; surely not!

Maybe if he were to try to negotiate free trade, freedom of movement, that kind of thing?

Might have read it as Zoroastrian.

Can you get inflatable frog costumes that double as counterlung rebreathers?

Yep; me as well now.

Who are the non-Muppet ones?

I should go to Greece again.

I need my glasses. I thought that said the arse of the devil.

I hope he liked it here.

I wonder if there'll be a rump parliament.

This is a lie.

There are many criticisms you might sensibly and truthfully make of the Sentencing Council and the Sentencing Guidelines. I’ve been making them for years.

But this is an outright lie. Pure fabrication. A fraud on the public.

I wish they'd take their cuntery back.

How recently did they find this lake?

Very potatoes

How can you tell?

And expanding foam; it's terrible for getting up exhaust pipes.

I'm in! How much!

Actually, I don't even care. Suprise me!

Isn't it a flattened chicken breast fried in breadcrumbs? A bit like a schnitzel?

Nothing too heavy for me thanks; I am going swimming later.

I love it. That's a great idea.

Exhaust pipe crimped shut?

"reads like"? That's an improvement on "lifted straight from".

In a very rare poke at chat GPT, I asked it to write a Dan Brown novel (or the start of one anyway). You wouldn't have known the difference.

Maybe you need to try jogging in a thermal.

There's a brilliand example