AB

I'm sitting in a tire shop next to a man who only speaks in analogies. 🤣

This is unreal.

5 minutes felt like a lifetime to someone 👀

Deep sigh

I can't believe I watched Olive Kitterage before reading the book. Smh

a very close cow

did this cow like me? no. but did she calmly tolerate me taking photos of her? also no

"Don't come in my room, I'm doing puberty"

What is wrong with my child?

Slept for 9 hours and could sleep for 9 more

Oh! With blueberry cheesecake for dessert 😊

Found my new favorite restaurant

Braised short ribs with red wine sauce and polenta 😋

Every white man from Valdosta has the exact same voice

Yall giving kids $20 when they lose a tooth?! I didn't get the memo.

I need a 2, 27, 30 hair color combo without it having to be mixed 😫

What did I do to deserve nothing but botox and mounjaro commercials?

Forgetting about clothes I just brought should be a flex but it's actually early onset dementia

Men: "Smile mama. It's a beautiful day.
Me:

YouTube video by Saturday Night Live Love Island - SNL

Every time I fire up #LoveIslandUK, I think about this SNL sketch: “You WILL watch 50 hours of this. You think you won’t, but you will.” youtu.be/xj65JgmJBYc?...

I can't explain why, but that cat is Afro American

fuck them sting rays

(*Taps sign*)

This! 😫

intellectual conversations with people who are actually knowledgeable about the topic and have picked up a book in the past month >>>

🥹

I was doing so well then boom! I've completely crashed. 🫩

My cojack

Better than theater 🤣

Bro does not like belly rubs 🤣