muckypup (🇬🇧)

So sorry, Moose. Just awful. x

INVENTOR OF CONTRACTIONS: you know what the word “not” is too fucking long

That's true! If there's going to have to be a 5-minute conversation regarding the legitimacy of the age presented, might as well have some fun with it.

I entered
the airfield
with my
tackle out

And which
you were probably
hoping
not to see

Forgive me
The signage was insufficient
The air so sweet

I have discovered the secret to a long life.

Completely forget how old you are and just make up a number. People are very trusting.

We are only too painfully aware. Do you have any idea how many new office policies have been instigated as a result of your shenanigans? It's almost impossible to get away with anything now.

A collage of screenshots showing the subtitles on a news story about a man who was arrested for breaking into a Guernsey airfield wearing only a blue t-shirt. The text reads: In defence Payne told Judge Marc Davies the case should be thrown out as there was not sufficient signage on the north side of the airfield, but he did admit that entering the airfield with no underpants or trousers on was an error.

"an error"

Jeez. It REALLY unnerves me when Alexa responds to an unasked question in another room when I'm home alone.

Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.

(Crouching down, placing one hand in the slime trail right behind a snail) A snail was here, not 1 hour ago.. (Standing up) We're gaining on him

As a predominantly dark clothes wearer, I'd like to officially register my extreme displeasure at the pastel invasion currently underway.

I'LL JUST GO NAKED UNTIL SUMMER THEN, SHALL I??

A roll of cream coloured masking tape on a cream coloured carpet can also do one.

Cream coloured masking tape on cream coloured walls can absolutely get fucked.

She didn't seem thrilled when I pointed this out to her. Strange woman.

A child's hand-drawn birthday card. The bottom third is a flat blue gradient, symbolising the ocean. There is a large yellow semicircle above, with the number 70 written on, symbolising the sun. (Unclear if setting or rising, but I'm going with the pessimistic option.) Seven small v shapes adorn the sky representing birds in flight, and three blue clouds are dotted around the edge of the white sky.

It was my MIL's 70th birthday recently and one of her grandniblings received the honour of making their card. I ADORE the fact that almost every single element of the design could be a symbol for impending death.

Setting sun
Burial at sea
Dark clouds gathering
Circling vultures

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! 😀

It is the only logical conclusion.

a close up of a man 's face with a serious look on his face Alt: Spock with a surprised look on his face and the merest hunt of a smirk. He slowly spins in his chair to face away from the camera.

For over 15 years, I have lived in a divided Star household. My partner is firmly team Wars and I am firmly team Trek. I have been making him rewatch ST-BNW with me recently and today he ASKED if we could watch some more.

Play it cool, Deb. Play it cool.

Oh absolutely. I don't think I have the colouring or the style to carry it off but still... the urge persists. Maybe I just need a wig.

This is an entirely plausible outcome.

Tempting. Maybe a temporary one to get it out of my system & I'm not stuck with another 2 years of growing it out again. 😫

I stopped dying my hair a couple of years ago & was happy to let it revert to its natural state of mousey with a dollop of grey. Until y'day when for no discernable reason I had the strongest urge to dye it dark green.

It would look absolutely ridiculous on me.

I can't stop thinking about it. 💚

By all means. If at some point today the words "I've eaten too many" aren't uttered, you're not doing it right.

Special occasion, innit?

A cartoon on a happy little rolled up crêpe with annotations showing the ONLY ACCEPTABLE accompaniments of sugar, lemon juice and raisins. The text at the top reads: Happy pancake day! (No substitutions. No arguments.)

Merry Crêpemas!

Please note, I will not be accepting (incorrect) suggestions for "improvements".

1. you will start to learn what the cost of “convenience” is i.e. what it costs to pay someone else something you can do for yourself
2. if you really want to understand resource and conflict management, watch animals
3. “Other” people are just like you!! Holy shit!!!

as an older person (+50) who’s never used ai, here are things i recommend about life:

- do DIY (the biggest is learn to cook but any other work you can do for yourself, learn it and do it)
- observe nature (all the animals around us have already figured life out)
- talk to people in real life

A photo of a colourful stained glass window in a church. The bottom panel says "To the honour and glory of God. And Louisa his wife."

Huh. I didn't know he was married.

In case anyone wondered how out of touch my fashion sense is, I just saw a post showing a really appealing shirt only to discover it was an advert for a museum exhibit.

I thought they'd been quiet recently.

I'm setting up leagues for the dust-hoover biathlon and the dishes-bins-laundry triathlon. Different tiers depending on home size.

Caravan
Bedsit
Flat
2 up 2 down house
Mansion

Can't imagine there could possibly be any options not accommodated for there.

[braces for impact]