Natalie

Company keynotes should require the salary of the person speaking displayed behind them while they're on stage.

Every so often I remember HQ Trivia. What a time.

The only Deux Moi updates I want today are shul sightings.

Chuck Schumer doing an aliyah at Yom Kip services and our Rabbi’s blessing over him is like “stop fucking everything up” it’s just so perfect

Watching new season of love is blind and lol they put “windows” in the bunkers.. ends up looking even more like a set than before. Oof.

Regularly reminded how terrifying private school teen boys are

*didn’t* volunteer to be a class parent.. my therapist will be so proud.

screenshot of a whatsapp chat coming from me that says: what is a kitchen? i have no idea. my tiny lady brain doesn't understand cooking. too many numbers.

turn that shit around on them

They know their audience and I appreciate them for it

Why did Anakin what? Turn into whom? I have no idea, ask your dad.

My biggest parenting win so far is feigning complete ignorance about the Star Wars universe so I can defer to my husband for any and all questions about it. Pure genius on my end.

screenshot of text convo: Me: Dudes next to us are all writers guild people and talking about the strike. Wish it were interesting goss. Them: oooh any intel? Or just sad Me: No! It’s men talking (Ha ha reaction from them) Not interesting Them: they truly never are

Evergreen

I think aquafaba means any canned bean, but chickpeas work best. Pretty sure you can use any canned bean but I could be wrong!

Celebrity surrogate tell-all when?

cant wait for airbnb hosts to have to sell their apts in my neighborhood so maybe we can afford to buy where we live

Imagine you time travel back to y2k and tell them in 2023 people suck smoke out of usb drives

Pure joy is introducing people to the Texan concept of the Homecoming Mum and watching their faces as they look at example photos

Pretty amazing that the term “window shopping” has traversed into the digital realm and means the exact same thing

A person charging down 6th ave yelling “I WILL HURT Y’ALLS… FEELINGS”

I just got a push alert that Adams condemned (today) Harry & Meghan being chased by paparazzi (yesterday). It took him *9 days* to condemn Jordan Neely's murder. The rage I feel about this man being in power

No one is making you eat the fudge is all I’m saying

“Have to”

That succession ep was both triggering and really fucking depressing

Honestly at this point, if a clothing brand has an ecomm site and doesn’t include different body sizes wearing what they’re selling, it’s not worth my money to see how it’ll fit (and having to return it when it’s bad)

At what point will it be Bad to have a pretend Aussie accent bc until then I will say “arrr naurrrr” at any opportunity

I have friends pumped for the TSwift tour and other friends pumped for the Beyoncé tour and I don’t think any of those friends overlap which feels… strange

Spring in nyc >>>>>>

Looks like he’s wearing a boot

Wish I could work outside with my giant screen and Wacom tablet.

Opened this app before the hell site this morning and it feels gooooood