Willow Ptarmigan

Personally, even as a non superstitious person, I wouldn't want to test the fates of irony by putting an image of myself on a death machine that gloats about me currently being alive.

The president is a liar or cognitively impaired. No one doesn't know what or why they're getting MRI'd (for) if they are of sound mind. I've had dozens of MRI's . Evrytime I've been given explicit instructions not to move the part of the body in question.

Me, with dumb guy voice: "Why don't they just fill the bottles with only the third ibuprofens?"

Pro tip: If you find that 1 or 2 ibuprofen are useless then let me let introduce you to the secret third ibuprofen where the magic lies.

I was never able to get used to the Steam Controller as a daily driver but I loved that the haptics when using the mouse pad made it feel like you're holding a purring kitten.

Out with the old Metacritic. Its time for a new truly meta critic.

It would be pretty fun though if an outlet gave Indika a numerical score that just kept increasing indefinitely since it's initial publication.

A Steely Dan parody band called Irony Dan

In my experience as a Californian the neighbors will learn some English, their children will become fluent, and they might offer you some pupusas and a Modelo when they're having a shindig. It's very not scary.

So, did you still make that 4AM today?

One time they handed me the panic button and the cable kinda draped across my neck in a way that made it ever so slightly choke me when they stuck me in the tube but I didn't complain and we finished the scan quickly, so I think entitled to at least some sort of ambassadorship.

Even thirty years older now, I would still skip the Eugene "stretchy guy that crawls though your hvac to get to you and eat your liver" Tooms episodes before bed. He could be in my ducts right now!

Thank you for taking the early shift. I'm glad someone I trust is up keeping an eye on things while I slumber.

Thank you for being a bit more respectful, Gmail.

I have also sat in a small plane while another guy flew it. Sure, I didn't have to worry about g forces in a twin turbo prop but flying at 30k ft for hours at a time collecting aerial imagery without my own oxygen made me so sleepy.

Makes sense. If you had looked at your phone you'd have seen the time and known to go back to sleep.

Kodos astroturfs a No Kangs protest.

Maybe the ouroboros just has an itchy tail yet no hands with which to scratch?

Airforce Number 2, as it were.

Sure, you could ask Sora to make you "passion of the Christ but its Pikachu" and maybe it'll return something fun but there's only a sliver of a chance that it will be better than if you just imagine the concept of the filename "passionofchrisbut pikachu_engsub[ARA][JP][480p]_real.divx".

My parents died when I was 9 and 20 and now I've got some absolutely wildly messy nostalgia tied to a bunch of art from my youth in really undeserving ways.

Someone should invent Nightime Water; water that is water in your mouth and throat and belly but just disappears after that. No need to get up to get it out of you in a couple hours.

This is my motto too but its mostly just about taking the 5 and only resorting to 99 if necessary.

I will always cherish the memory of the time I was in Trader Joe's and Rapture was playing until the rap part of the song started and then someone manually skipped to the next track.

YouTube video by BlondieVEVO Blondie - Rapture (Official Music Video)

The Rapture can actually happen everyday if you manage your play lists correctly.

You know, fight the good fight and all but I just wasn't raised to care about what Jimmy Kimmel does after 10 AM or the turn of the century. That man lives in the radio on my way to middle or high school. That is canon Jimmy. You can't make me care about the reboot.

This post is brought to you by the bad timing of Silksong coming out when my hands have already been pre-cramped from using crutches after my recent hip surgery.

If OXO Good Grips knows what's good for them they'll release a gaming controller to address the needs of the first generations of "gamers" as they enter their arthritic middle ages and beyond.

More and more these days I'm thinking that similar to how bartenders are legally required to not overserve alcohol Costco should be required to limit the amount of cashews I'm allowed to buy.