Lizard Person

It’s amazing the kind of childishly simple horseshit narratives people will believe for political convenience.

One time I was holed up in a seedy motel due to a wildfire/covid (so the sky was all red and it felt apocalyptic) and I did some ketamine while watching Rudy Giuliani and Chris Cuomo bicker/reminisce about 9/11 on CNN. It broke me, I’ve never been able to look at the human race the same way since.

“Universal” (for everyone that meets our selection criteria)

Not the way I play it…

🤯

Thanks, Obamas.

Not to mention that it’s found in the body in 100% of autopsies.

Every rose has its thorn, but not every thorn has its rose… 🧐

Cap working hours at 32/week and pay a living wage and I bet people will amply volunteer to use their new found free time to do some work on the corner garden.

That’s highly offensive to lizard people, the vast majority of whom are quiet and peaceful, honest and dignified. Don’t put us all in the same category as those scoundrels in the White House.

Your hyphythesis.

I’ve been vomiting since 2016. I’m severely dehydrated

Screenshot from Goods Unite Us app showing Home Depot donates 38% to Democrat and 62% to Republican candidates/causes. It has a -62 score on campaign finance reform and 34 people say ‘Support’ vs 4697 say ‘Boycott’

Screenshot from Goods Unite Us app showing Home Depot donates 45% to Democrat and 55% to Republican candidates/causes. It has a -55 score on campaign finance reform and 190 people say ‘Support’ vs 2584 say ‘Boycott’. This illustrates that Lowe’s isn’t much more progressive that Home Depot when it comes to their political contributions, despite enjoying a much more friendly reputation.

I commend the effort! Not to be a downer but, as is usually the case with massive corporations, Lowe’s isn’t all that much better than HD. The real difference lies between the small business vs the corporate chain. Shop local when you can, folks!❤️

Ah, of course—vicious, judgmental, petty, and vindictive under a veneer of saccharine piety. Sounds like Republican Christianity to me.

You truly have a way with word.

I’ve just had the cartoonish experience of biting in to a pickled jalapeño and getting a jetstream of juice to my left eyeball.

🤞

Happy anniversary!

I plead insanity

per person

ghost cabbage

Maybe I should start smoking again…

(This is a box of tissues from Trader Joe’s)

Apple AI visual search on a pack of Trader Joe’s tissues that says “This tissue box is from the brand Love, Tissue, which creates novelty tissue boxes with comforting or humorous messages. They are often sold in specialty gift shops and online marketplaces.” What is even the point of using chatGPT for this purpose, the user wonders?

The latest from your favorite novelty brand, “Love, tissue”

Greg Bovino smiling like an idiot on in a Shell gas station in Chicago

when you're on LSD trying to act normal in line for the bathroom but you remember that infused preroll in your pocket

Literally the opposite of the (nominal) purpose of insurance which is societal distribution of risk: everyone pays a little and the people who need a lot get their costs covered. Instead everyone gets their $42 back and if you’re sick go fuck yourself 🤡

Daily Peanuts!

divergentcoachkelly on Threads * 2h ADHD is knowing exactly what you need to do then watching yourself not do it like you're a scientist observing a very dumb experiment

10/10 take. No notes.

oh YEAH!!