Nicole

Parents: Have we figured out how to address our kids’ teachers in an email yet?

“Mrs” too presumptuous
“Ms” too juvenile
“Mr” overly formal
And first naming them feels… rude? Please advise.

Signed, someone who most certainly does not catastrophically overthink the smallest of details

Some folks need to walk around old graveyards. The pre-vaccine tiny little markers will sober you right up.

It’s giving Bad Place demon

I knew it!

Tricia McLaughlin & @TriciaOhio 0... The narrative being pushed about Jose Hermosillo is false. On April 8, Hermosillo approached Border Patrol in Tucson and stated he had entered the U.S. illegally through Nogales. He said he wanted to turn himself in and completed a sworn statement identifying as a Mexican citizen who had entered unlawfully. He was processed and appeared in court on April 11. Afterward, he was held by the U.S. Marshals in Florence, AZ. A few days later, his family presented documents showing U.S. citizenship. The charges were dismissed, and he was released to his family. This arrest was the direct result of Hermosillo's own actions and statements.

In an interview with Popular Information, his first with any media outlet, Hermosillo said DHS'. 's account was false. According to Hermosillo, he was visiting his girlfriend's family in Tucson from his home in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Several hours before his arrest, Hermosillo was transported to a hospital in Tucson by ambulance after suffering from a seizure. He has a New Mexico state ID, but did not take it with him during the medical emergency. After being released from the hospital following treatment, Hermosillo did not know how to return to where he was staying. He approached the Border Patrol officer because he was looking for someone to help him. "I saw a car, and I askled] him for help," Hermosillo said. He told the officer that he was staying in Tucson.

"You" re not from here. Do you have your papers?" the officer said, according to Hermosillo. When the officer asked where he was from, Hermosillo said he told the officer, "New Mexico." The officer then accused Hermosillo of lying. "Don't make me lout] like [I'm] stupid," the officer said. "I know you're from Mexico." After that, Hermosillo said, he was arrested. Hermosillo said that he never told the officer that he was born in Mexico, was a citizen of Mexico, or entered the country illegally. And he would not have said those things because they are not true. He signed the transcript released by DHS because the officer ordered him to "sign everything." But Hermosillo did not read it, because he cannot read. According to Hermosillo's girlfriend, Grace Hernandez, Hermosillo has learning disabilities and can only write his name. Hermosillo said he did not graduate from high school and dropped out after the 10th grade.

The officer also signed the document, which said Hermosillo "read" the document or had it read to him. But Hermosillo said no one read him the document. Other documents created by the officer have inaccuracies. For example, the criminal complaint says that Hermosillo was detained "at or near Nogales, Arizona." But Hermosillo was detained in Tuscon, which is more than 70 miles from Nogales. John Mennell, a spokesperson for the U.S. Border Patrol, said that it was an "unintentional" error. Hermosillo said he was detained with about 15 other men in a cell at the Florence Correctional Center. He was served only cold food. He said he contracted the flu because "they have it cold in there and everybody's getting sick." Hermosillo said he requested medicine but was not provided with any.

A US citizen with a learning disability who has just suffered a medical emergency asks a CBP officer for directions outside the emergency room. He ends up detained in an icebox for ten days and has the assistant secretary of DHS lying about him to the public at large. popular.info/p/us-citizen...

I would retire from typing if flava Flav corrected my grammar Flavor Flav says it's flavor Flav

Flav out here on a goddamn heater tonight

Still from the television show Pepper Ann showing from left to right Nicky, Milo and Peppper Ann walking down a sidewalk next to a parking lot

if the hardcore band looks like this you are going to die in the pit

My bases? Covered. My burners? Backed. My circles? Also… backed… I don’t understand how to office.

This morning my brain was held hostage by Sugar Ray. I didn’t even know still I had that lyrics file

A handwritten letter found in an airport reading: “Dear Flight Attendants, this is our kids’ first flight. We prepared them as best we could. But if they act up, a disapproving word or look from you will be more than effective than a thousand bribes or rebukes from us. We might have told them that you possess the authority to yeet them from the plane for poor behavior. Thanks for your help and understanding. The family in 3AB and 4AB”

Stay in your seat or you get the yeet

Lori Beth Denberg reprised her All That librarian character to do a pro-library, anti-book banning reel and I love it so much??? www.instagram.com/reel/DIK0_bD...

My cat when dinner time at 6pm but it’s 6:01pm and he hasn’t been fed yet

Animation still of a Care-a-lot, a cloud town with rainbow roads, home to the Care Bears

Get me to God’s country

You want to WHAT my base??? I’m calling HR

A painted plaster dinosaur statue with a pleasant look and a sweet grin, reminiscent of a human sized, orange and yellow iguana

Me when I feel like an ancient, awkwardly-posed lizard but someone says I look nice:

Elon Musk looking like you'd expect

Man what the fuck did we do lmao look at this shit

Your new rap name is lil’ + the last reason you were in the hospital + the last thing you ate. Mine is… lil’ Pulled Round Ligament Chocolate

Some perfect little wheeled things for your timeline

I write poetry and I play piano and ukulele. I’m also just starting to learn embroidery and I love it.

The absolute dumbest timeline

Go off, king

Just saw a farmer say, "you don't have to admit you were wrong, you have to admit you were lied to, " and idk that seems like a good framing to call people in

Ok, but did you see that one guy over there?

Every X-files episode is just Scully being like, “Mulder, that’s absurd.” And Mulder being like, “whatever, I’m gonna go investigate this dangerous abandoned property with no backup” and then everyone finds out it was actually an infestation of killer alien cockroaches.

i'm against political nicknames in almost all circumstances but incel clown posse is inspired

As a Floridian who just got hit by record hurricanes, let me just say “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHJFGHJRSK$&@?$”

Unconscionable.

How was your January, in cat terms?