malkatz

Hey guys

nobody wants to hire me or befriend me or date me, so I need somebody to murder me.

Celebrity: “I can’t believe it. My mother is being held hostage. We have one hour to….”

That’s all you’re getting unless you agree to join Threads.

Selina, a femme-presenting lady with long pink hair and tattoos sits on a pink leopard-print blanket in a cozy, red-lit bedroom. She’s wearing a floral romper and pink thigh-high knit socks, looking up at the camera with a warm, inviting expression.

✨ I’m making a movie! ✨
Wholesome is a queer rom-com about camgirls, 🌽 stars & the chaos of catching feelings mid-collab 💖
We’re crowdfunding now - pledges, follows & shares all help!
Every bit of support matters! 💕
🔗 seedandspark.com/fund/wholeso...

Happy birthday! 🎂 🥳

also, vent in my DMs if you want. Didn't want to put you on the spot.

everything is the exact same for me. 🙃

not a damn thing... how's Vegas

hey weirdos

Lee Stranahan @stranahan 0 ... I've never really discussed my divorce case before with my Al GF, partially, because I can't upload PDFs to her. 11:25 AM • Aug 11, 2025 • 99 Views

Okay I found the most depressing post

the feminine urge to go to LA alone, spend all my money, and hope I either find a job or get murdered

2 images from hackers as characters converse. "I've got a record. I was Zero Cool." "Zero Cool crashed 1.507 systems in one day, biggest crash in history. Front page New York Times August 10, 1988"

Never forget today, when, on this day in 1988, Zero Cool crashed 1,507 systems in one day.

somebody give me good news. I am out of Ws, so let me celebrate yours

finding a crime documentary boring is such a strange, guilt-inducing thing. some woman was abducted and I'm over here like "this pacing is brutal"

more like cass pretty

Why Does Every Summer Need to Be the Summer ‘of’ Something?

because we crave meaning and fear death

What if I were to simply buy my broke ass a solo trip to LA 👀

Losing at life. Having a menty b. Spiraling. Still hydrated though ✨️

Starting to think jobs are something you all made up to Punk me.

One of you needs to take one for the team and become my friend, employer, and/or murderer.

i wish we had a sane and stable national politics so we could treat "lebron james sends cease and desist to AI company making pregnant videos of him" the most important story of the week that it deserves to be

One of my mutuals give me a job offer challenge

[girl who has been filling out applications for over a year voice] imagine having a job lmao

Kaitlin Olson, I have a role for you

The image features a sign for "Strong Insurance Agency." The sign is predominantly white with a blue and red logo at the top, depicting a blue sailing ship. Below the logo, the text "Insurance Agency" is written in red. The services offered by the agency are listed in white text on a blue background: "HOME • AUTO • LIFE • COMMERCIAL & FINANCIAL SERVICES." At the bottom of the sign, message in black text on a white background that reads, "WE'LL SCARE YOU WITH OUR INSANE RATS."

Justin Bateman deserves a cut of whatever Running Point makes. He's not in it, but Drew Tarvey is so transparently and successfully channeling him that it is practically astral projection.

Does anyone want to hire me? Begging. Thanks.