Brian Boone

Realistic Dad Jokes Why did the banana split? It found out it was going to be a father. - - -Why do dads love mowing the lawn? They see lawn care as maintaining their ...

Why didn’t the dad want to have kids?

He was worried that he would pass on the gene for Huntington’s disease.

Sammy P getting biz on the crop!

In high school, my two closest friends and I called ourselves "the Beastie Boys" because everytime I said something they'd scream the last word of the sentence in unison with me for some reason.

I’m known to be a bit of a spinner.

Yes, exactly!

Well crap

Hmm, can you recommend a lawyer that specializes in winter law?

"Very nicex, my wifex!"

You’re the best!

Whoa! Thanks for the lead!

Santana knows nothing of smooth! Being seven inches from the midday sun is decidedly unsmooth!

Well I hope you remain avoidant of Satan’s power

But what of your tidings?

He bought us all whiskey shots!

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Cool I love Cowboy Junkies

I’ve never seen it. I don’t want to spoil one of my Favorite Things if it isn’t good. It’s the same reason I’ve never watched the film adaptation of “White Noise.” I assume the music video for Billy Squier’s “Rock Me Tonite” is historically and famously both very good and very well received.

It's a good thing that the girl's dad forbade her from seeing The Leader of the Pack, that very dangerous guy she met at the candy store when he was smiling.

I hope they made everything end up being a dream

SIR

The mayor gave her a medal!

I feel like the savage pranks will be lighthearted now?

They’re watching “Maude.”

Whoa whoa whoa, that’s a story for another day, I’m afraid.

Okay, it worked, but you didn’t tell me to turn off my ceiling fan! Giblets everywhere! You’ll be hearing from my attorney.

That was the right move

Must be the boss’s kid

The Orb.
It has taken control of my left hand.
The Orb shall use my own left hand to destroy me.
And so I dart unnaturally to the right.
To avoid it.
Contorting my body in an uncomfortable manner.
But alas, The Orb.
It has taken me.
It has drained me of life, and color.
I am Abscence now.

Release the Cut of “Garden State” where the song Natalie Portman says will change your life is “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)”