Fat Fuck

i give myself the best chances of being lucky by looking at 4 leaf clovers online

ordering a McSuicide and cutting open a major artery in the drive thru

if all Hairless cats suddenly turned into humans they would all look like beetlejuice green

they should teach a chimp how to skate and call him skimp

i wish i was a degenerate pervert so i could rock the balding + mullet combo

staring deeply into the doctors eyes and smiling, saying im fine as i enter cardiac arrest

they should invent welding for flesh

down syndrome required

crazy how you assume people on the internet are kinds well adjusted then see they've posted thousands of times about how they want to have unprotected sex with knuckles the echidna

this is how i imagine the inside of a tapeworm looks

we need to air drop the zohan into israel to save us from all those kids with stones

our bluesky accounts are like toy story toys and they come to life while we aren't looking

cant wait for the once-ler + rizzler collab where they mog devastated forests together

where men cried

there's something about lin manuel miranda that makes me want to drop kick him onto a bed of nails so bad

indian construction workers wear steel toed sandals

imagine getting drafted into ww2 but it was at the very start so you could take a desk job before they were all taken

i wish i was rich enough to have a life worth gambling away

my nudes resemble the elephants foot in chernobyl

tomato farmers would have been fucking stoked whenever some rube got put in the pillory

when you fart and burp at the same time is it called a farp or a burt

real homies take their bros dick pics for them so they can concentrate on the subject in hand

bald people should have to apologise for making me look at their delicious egg shaped heads

guy doing coke while watching the godfather: "can we watch transformers instead?"

the 2020 invisible man was an allegory for elisabeth moss trying to escape Scientology

diogenes would have loved halo reach

creating a new form of Morse code called fart code

my house is haunted by a ghost that won't stop buying pay per view porn on my tv

the world would be a better place if cory remained in the house

you'll never find respect as pure as of that between a kebab shop owner and a drunk at 2am