bnacker

If the arc of history bends towards justice, it's funny. If it breaks, it's not funny

The other week, after I prayed to a god I don't believe in for the ego death of a stranger, the stranger bought me a pancake. It was a great pancake.

Christmas is my favorite Die Hard holiday. Has anyone done that one yet? Did I win?

Emma Mackey is Ella McCay. George Clooney is Jay Kelly. Soon every actor that can open a movie will play a titular character called what my mom thinks their name is

Just watched the strangest loveliest movie ever, after which I asked an actor and phenomenal writer/director how it could possibly be real and then of course I woke up and cursed loudly because of course it wasn’t

I wish I had a jar that people put bread in and then asked what I was doing there

I spent too much time today thinking about how fast I'd spend a genie wish on Charles Grodin being the second Amigo in Three Amigos instead of Chevy Chase.

JOHN WICK: A guy killed my dog, so I'm gonna kill everyone who works for his same boss and then everyone who has that same job.
AUDIENCE: GOOD!

CAROL: Literal space invaders killed my fucking wife right in front of me. I'm mad about it
AUDIENCE: Smile more, we hate you!

a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup is a slice of pizza in revision mode

If you say "this film is a love letter to cinema" you are a dork.

Amber Tamblyn is the most Tim Robinson coded name of all time

If you think about it, Knives Out was a Knives Out mystery

It's also a Christmas movie because it came out at Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving is a Christmas holiday.

hero shit

@profanity.accountant let's gooo

Hey neat flawed premise New Yorker. Way to present it like it's facts.

Come on

"The Republicans only have about two months left to live."
-James Carville, every three months

"So when he said he was looking for Yoda, I pretended I wasn't Yoda until a tiny bit later. Yeah no it was hilarious. Trust me" #yodatexts

When someone shows you who Maya Angelou is, believe them

"If my son wants to do science in a Batman costume, we're going to damn well find him some science to do!"

Mamdani probably got home, turned to his wife, and let out the longest, loudest “this fucking guy” of all time

I watched UK Celebrity Traitors and I liked it. What are the other Traitors ones to watch?

I bet Trump's all like "why did we even bother to have him killed?"

The Spy Who Went Out Into the Cold Without His Jacket by John le Carré's Mother who God forbid should care about her son

That said, the Snubtown Podcast? Would subscribe.

If it's not even nominated for a Globe, it's like what do I even do a podcast for anyway?

Snubbed!

The working title was "Honey, You Know How You're Always Saying You Wish the Kids Would Just, You Know, Shrink? And, Like, the Neighbor Kids Too? Well, I Have Some Good News!"

Bette Davis Eyes
Dyslexic Heart
Can't Hardly Wait

Is that anything?