The Tablet

Headline: YOU HAVE A MESSAGE FROM YOUR BANK Image: a single hand pressed against a window pane

Opinion piece. Headline: The left needs its own Garfield. By Wolfrom Gladiators

Headline: RACIST FED UP WITH PEOPLE ASSUMING HE'S ALSO A TRANSPHOBE Image: man holding a sheet of paper in front of his face with an angry face drawn on it

Opinion piece. Headline: And if a double decker bus crashes into us/I hope that a full and frank enquiry will be carried out By Wolfrom Gladiators

Face of a man. His facial expression is at best neutral.

Area Man Feels Jollity Increasingly Forced

Keir Starmer

Starmer: Britain will not hesitate to give Israel a War ASBO

A golf ball on the edge of a golf hole

Massive Paedophile Goes Golfing

Opinion: wah. wah. wah. wreeeeeh-eh-eh-eh-pffftbth By NAMELESS BABY Image: sad baby

Headline: WOLF KEPT FROM DOOR Image: door with a sign on it reading 'FUCK OFF WOLF'

Headline: MAN INSERTS THIRD WOLF Image: a man with wide eyes,

Headline: AREA MAN HAS TWO WOLVES OUTSIDE HIM Image: A man looking quite worried about two wolves

Headline: TWO WOLVES INSIDE AREA MAN UNIONISE Image: a wolf placing a vote in a ballot box

Headline: INSIDE ZOO ARE TWO WOLVES Image: Two wolves. In a zoo.

Headline: MOON TURNS INTO WOLF EVERY TIME AREA MAN IS FULL Image: a storm wracked coastline.

Headline: POETRY TO INTRODUCE VAR AFTER SUCCESSFUL TRIAL Image: VAR screen saying: "Checking: Mixed Metaphor"

Opinion: It's Going to Get Worse Before It Gets Much Much Worse By Wolfrom Gladiators

Opinion: It's Going to Get Worse Before It Gets Much Much Worse By Wolfrom Gladiators

Nervous looking man in suit, adjusting his tie

Retired Ombudsman still doesn't know what an Ombudsman is

Empty tennis court

Country goes back to not giving a shit about tennis

Roy Keane forming a presumably aggressive word

Roy Keane furiously exits the fourth path of enlightenment over “shite” training facilities

Roy Keane forming a presumably aggressive word

Roy Keane furiously exits the fourth path of enlightenment over “shite” training facilities

Pride Rock from The Lion King, dark and desolate during Scar’s reign

Disney Executives Quietly Rename Pride Rock

You’ve had 28 years to prepare

Headline: EVIL WOMBLE "MAKING BAD USE" OF THE THINGS THAT HE FINDS Image: sinister Womble in the twilight

Opinion: girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money Wolfrom Gladiiators (Image of a confident seeming old man)

headline: GUY WHO ISN'T THAT INTO PAVEMENT INNOCENTLY BEFRIENDS GUY WHO IS SUPER INTO PAVEMENT imagee: two men in sunglasses smile at the camera, one sitting slightly behind the other as if to keep some distancee

headline: KLEPTOMANIC MONK WONDERS IF HE CAUSED OFFENCE AT CONVENT: NUN TAKEN image: sinister monk holding a skull, realising something

Headline: EDINBURGH FATHER OF TWO CONVERTED INTO LUXURY STUDENT ACCOMMODATION Image: a student flat bedroom with a large and awkward man's face embedded in the wall

headline: COWARDICE ADMIRABLE, SAYS COWARD Image: David Lammy at a Policy Exchange event

headline: EXPERIMENTAL MUSIC NIGHT PUBLISHES FINDINGS Image: a guy in a bin bag jacket wearing a sort of home made beekeeping mask adjust the settings on some electronic music device