Fred Paffhausen

Some people are in to using a blindfold. What’s the Invisible Man if not a blindfold you don’t need to wear?

My wife and I once got an OG Trivial Pursuit card where five of the six questions were directly or indirectly about The Last Supper and the sixth was about bouillabaisse

Calling peoples' employers in a rage because their tributes to Robert Redford weren't horny enough

Congratulations fellas, we’ve all moved one spot up on the world’s most handsome man rankings

They should have had Cyclops’ homebrew. No hops, no grain. Dude gets a Lipton teabag and heats the water with by zapping the microwave with an eye blastl

The eye exam is the perfect game design. That big E is a great tutorial that teaches you the basic mechanic. But it doesn't baby you and quickly gets hard as they introduce the small and blurry enemies.

If the definition of media is stretched to include non-fiction, John Rawls, “A Theory of Justice”.

If non-fiction is excluded, Mister Rogers Neighborhood or Sesame Street

I have said the same thing about my 20 month old human. Including once to the pediatric dentist office’s scheduler

for real, at least a solid margin of AI devotees are people who just started a new life under a new name in the 19th century

That’s one way to make sure nobody ever sleeps on your guest room

YouTube video by The Flop House Podcast Cat On a Hot Tintin Roof

This reminds me of one of my favorite Flop House bits:

Naps are a perk of being a dad

If JD Vance were a true Catholic instead of defending Trump he would simply assign him to be President of another country

St. Peter: How'd you die?

Me: Buried under an avalanche of unused journals.

St. Peter *whispers*: Did you have some with the tiny grids?

Me *whispers back*: Of course I had the tiny grids.

St. Peter: C'mon in.

Screenshot from TikTok of Ro Khanna asking whether Musk or Trump gets JD Vance in the divorce, which is actually a surprising level of independence from that toad.

As the hymn teaches us: This is the day that the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.

this is like drake and kendrick lamar but they're both drake

I once spent a lovely afternoon and evening with a woman (a Love’s Labours Lost production followed by dinner and a long chat after). We realized over e-mail the next day it was a date. That story was in our wedding vows….

bisexuals don't currently have an agenda but when we figure out how to sit in chairs properly THEN we will work on an agenda and then it's over for you guys

Has this been sold? Or can I break out the Fry gif?

Bluesky has never felt more like the Twitter of old. Idiots are arguing with @joedisano.bsky.social for a hot take, conveniently skipping over the truth in Joe’s post for ad hominem insults of the caliber one associated with second grade

And now -- drum roll, please -- we get to everyone's favorite villain, the architect of everything that's wrong with the US today, the man whose administration is the inflection point of every single graph charting any measure of like ANYTHING over time: RONALD FUCKING REAGAN.

When time travel is real, what three musicals or concerts are tops on your list?

A Chicago Pope implies the existence of an MLA Pope and APA Pope

The adult converts are furious, never listen to adult converts

“The pope will be from Chicago” sounds like an 1880s Republican’s dire prediction for if we don’t stop Irish immigration

Guys I gotta be real, ever since taking over The Onion, I've been confounded by how much we still cover The Pope in 2025. It turns out it's because he worked in the Chicago office from 1994-1999. He wrote the headline "Area Man Dead of Fries."

So many people have grown up to be the villains of our stories.

I’ve had some from Iowa or Seattle that was pretty good. The Seattle folks may have closed, though. Lemme know if you want some leads on sourcing. (That said, even with tariffs, the Italian stuff might still be cheaper)