Dan Conlin

Damn good deal. Strikers rules.

Phone: hey bud this call is definitely a scam.

Me: oh cool thanks for letting me know. Are you going to block it?

Phone: 😊

I refuse to believe that anyone who refers to a flavor as "nutty" actually knows what they're talking about.

me passing someone: u slow bitch

me being passed: ok speed racer

A subreddit for the world famous German humor Nein.

Well this might be the funniest thing I've seen today. www.reddit.com/r/GermanHumor/

This holiday season, remember that donating money to food banks is always preferable to donating food because they can use that money to buy exactly what the people they're serving need.

idk Aerosmith I kinda do wanna miss a thing
maybe several things

Excerpt from a grade school short story featuring a bit where a character continually misspells the name of an alien race and planet and asks how his friend knows their name anyway, jokingly positing that there's a sign up there. The other friend confirms there is, in fact, a sign up there.

Excerpt from a grade school short story featuring a bit where a character says "according to my scanner, it should be..." before immediately crashing and saying "...right in front of us!" It also includes a fun play on text characters being used as an alien version of numbers.

I just rediscovered a short story I wrote for a grade school project. It's truly, profoundly garbage. But I'm also oddly afraid I'll never be this funny again.

You know that scene in Futurama when Mom was looking down at the mindless hordes of people trudging along to buy the new phone that actively harms society and calling them "dumb bastards"?

So anyway I just drove by a crowded Chick-fil-A drive thru.

If the price is right, I might switch. I'd love to be able to enjoy my VR games without Meta being involved.

Chonky lines are my FAVORITE kinds of art hell yeah.

Those few seconds before you realize it's a satire site are what make me feel alive.

I'm more invested in video game romances than my own love life because only one of them is completely chill with you taking a long time to pick a dialog option.

An exchange on twitter. controlla.xyz: If you hate Al you probably just hate art and expression It's an infinite mashup of all the best art ever made by humans lesliejandersonwriter: If you hate the juice at the bottom of a restaurant dumpster you just hate food and cooking. It's an infinite mashup of all the best food made by humans!

I love this.

It's a good game, you're all just more interested in having a collective target than finding joy in your lives.

Extremely tired of everyone coming out to be like "actually a year later I think Dragon Age: The Veilguard is bad".

The entire internet has spent the last year saying this and has not found anything interesting or useful to say. You're not adding anything of value to the world.

vince gilligan shaved his moustache and i can tell you right now it would take me like ten years to figure out clark kent is superman. who the fuck is that

Anyone else ever had the supermarket cashier ring up the alcohol in your cart then clearly start to ask for your ID before cutting himself off when he notices the prune juice?

A good bit for a Star Wars movie would be Yoda having to get his robe washed so he has to borrow a normal sized one and he’s sitting in his chair during Jedi Council swimming in the thing and getting more and more pissed off about it

This is how I discover I'm not as white as I thought I was.

I'm begging you all to make a habit of asking yourself "is this game/show/movie/book/etc. actually bad, or do I just enjoy having a target?"

Full disclosure, I've been struggling. I'd been having to cover paying for both myself and my ex-husband for years, while I barely had enough money to cover myself. So now, even though I'm out of that situation, I'm still struggling because he completely drained me financially. If you wanna help:

For those unaware, EA was bought by a company owned by Saudi Arabia and Jared whatsisname of the Trump family.

On this N7 day, I'm just happy to know we've got at least two Mass Effect-likes coming alongside 5 cause despite being a massive ME fan, I have no intention whatsoever of supporting anything from EA going forward.

A list of played games sorted by playtime in the Nintendo Store app that has Xenoblade games at the top and then a bunch of Mario and Pokémon games under.

I'm basic and ok with that.

Had to share this from twitter just because

Nicely done, NYC.

An urgent message is sent by delivery raven (a la Game of Thrones). The royal recipient is concerned. Below cursive script, crude raven scrawl has been added to the scroll: “feed food gud ravin”

even when far rightwingers are having an extremely positive experience on all fronts they’re still able to hallucinate a situation where they’re the victim