Saag 900 Turbo

(Enter: me) he said in parentheses

Ravenna Golden’s Beverly Hills

Exactly what it says on the label: The Pope in 1982. He's wearing a black hat, dark RayBans, and looks like he's a member of the Blues Brothers.

What's from Chicago, hates Illinois Nazis, and is holy as fuck?

It's the Pope in 1982.

“How did the age of humans end?”

Corvid researcher (a super intelligent future corvid, not a human who studied corvids…): They willingly sacrificed themselves to Skynet The Stupid.

I’ve been putting off training my whole life, but I can just feel the day is fast approaching for my barn-raising dance-off.

Screen shot of a page from hitchhikers guide to the galaxy reading: “"Many years ago this was a thriving, happy planet-people, cities, shops, a normal world. Except that on the high streets of these cities there were slightly more shoe shops than one might have thought necessary. And slowly, insidiously, the numbers of these shoe shops were increasing. It's a well-known economic phenomenon but tragic to see it in operation, for the more shoe shops there were, the more shoes they had to make and the worse and more unwearable they be-came. And the worse they were to wear, the more people had to buy to keep themselves shod, and the more the shops proliferated, until the whole economy of the place passed what I believe is termed the Shoe Event Hori-zon, and it became no longer economically possible to build anything other than shoe shops. Result-collapse, ruin and famine. Most of the population died out. Those few who had the right kind of genetic instability mutated into”

I’m just gonna mentally replace shoes with AI in this HHGttG passage.

I used to think the speedy overthrow of the Shire was a bit of a writing failure by Tolkien, because how could things fall apart so badly, so fast.

I don't think that any more.

You muppet

Whenever some sanctimonious Dem announces that America needs a functioning Republican Party, I always think “I’d settle for a functioning Democratic Party.”

Just getting dinner onto the table for the kiddos, will deal with this later.

I can’t remember the last time I legit cried laughing at something but the second verse of this song has done it

I was listening to of my favorite bands while driving yesterday and I saw a horse on the side of the road. It wasn’t piebald.

Who was I listening to?

This week I was thrilled to get galley copies of MY TOKYO SUMMER! The art by Utomaru looks just gorgeous! The book is available for preorder NOW at all major bookstores. 😸😸

Tech guys six months ago: haha yes we’re cutting all this WASTEFUL spending by eliminating medical research and USAID

Tech guys now: yes I think taxpayers will be excited to bailout my non consensual pornography machine

Why does Peacock have 30 Rock under “will they or won’t they?”?!?! Was I supposed to worry if Jack and Liz would bang?!?! I was watching that show COMPLETELY WRONG!

(I’m still sad Kenneth and Tracy never hooked up though)

My new BAFF

I uninstalled mine a few years ago…

colleges are a lot like beers, in that it doesn’t really matter which one you pick. they’re all equally good and indistinguishable from one another

@jkpolk.bsky.social I’m in Herrell’s but I’m too full of burrito!

I have to leave by 11:20, ok so 11:15 then… well that’s really like 11:10…

Welcome to target. If you are neurodivergent we will fire you

Target is now requiring its employees to smile more As the holiday season fast approaches, Target is urging its employees to add a little more “jolly” to their work routine.

"Store employees are now required to smile if they are within 10 feet of a shopper.

They also must make eye contact with and wave to or greet the customer.

If they’re within four feet, the employee should ask how the customer’s day is going or if they need help."

🙄 Won't stop the boycott, y'all.

Capybara or a Red Panda.

I’d say sloth, but I already fill that ecological niche.

The world’s first trillionaire initiated a move that has left more than half a million people dead, most of whom are children.

“God is dead,” I huff to myself after the most mild of inconveniences.

🧵

The Shutdown of U.S.A.I.D. Has Already Killed Hundreds of Thousands The short documentary “Rovina’s Choice” tells the story of what goes when aid goes.

One analytical model shows that, as of November 5th, the dismantling of U.S.A.I.D. has already caused the deaths of 600,000 people, two-thirds of them children. https://newyorkermag.visitlink.me/jUzNSc

A List of Things Said to Have Been Ruined by Women

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I’m suspicious of people with 20/20 vision. Who’s your eye doctor, Faust? What kind of payment plan did you work out?