TCP/IrvingPark

It took 19 years but Harry Whittington finally got his revenge.

If elected president, my promise to the American people is that I will mandate every email platform require that distribution lists can only be BCC'd. And also, I'll abolish ICE. Maybe that first. But the BCC thing can also happen in parallel. We can do both, America.

a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' . ALT: a black and white cartoon of a man holding a sign that says ' sickos ' .

Me trying to see which house on the block hired the pest control guy that I just saw pull up and park on the street

Cops are gonna be freaking out because they accidentally came into contact with Tylenol

There have to be people working for RFK Jr that make bets with each other about whether or not they can get him to say the wackiest shit during press conferences.

Yeah, not positive it's with Numero or if they are in talks elsewhere but I have been anxiously awaiting it for years

And Juno!

This keeps feeling more and more true every day

Relay your Chicago hellscape anecdote! Here's mine: this morning I got up at 5:30 and rode my bike with some other neighborhood dad friends for a couple hours, up the North Branch Trail and back. I saw a bunch of deer, it reminded me of my mom. It was great. 2nd Saturday in a row.

GO!

When it comes time for my annual review at work, if my boss says I didn't meet expectations on anything I will just claim that I was actually acting as an FBI informant on someone who is also bad at that thing

Zombie Bernie from Weekend At Bernies dancing

Breaking: Trump at Mar a Lago right now -

I always get a laugh out of "Turkey Shit Run" or whatever it's called on the North Branch Trail.

I probably will only live to the grand old age of -17 years at this point

Scooby Doo unmasking meme, where Fred says "Let's see who really canceled the Colbert Late Show" and pulls the ghost mask off to reveal Jay Leno, and then Fred says "I knew it"

Whoa, didn't see this coming

Is Lauren Canyon folk some kind of suburban coworker version of Laurel Canyon folk?

A Cassnippet (just a portion of one song on a tape)?

I hope it's "Hanging on the Telephone" by The Nerves

I made multiple support calls, wasted my time and the time of multiple support reps (including a manager when I needed to escalate the issue up higher) and they finally gave me an email address to send my PDF for a human to read. Vs. just having the human spend 2 minutes on it in the first place.

Be prepared for more corporate runaround due to replacing people with shitty AI. I've been fighting with AT&T Wireless for weeks to honor a promo to buy me out of device contracts w/ my old provider and eventually a support guy said that they use an AI to read the paperwork (incorrectly in my case).

This article really buries the lede, which is that this new Trader Joe's location would easily have the most logically laid out and spacious parking lot of any Trader Joe's in the United States of America. Unless TJs rips the lot all up and makes it into some MC Escher drawing like all the others.

- 10 commandments reduced down to "a couple two tree commandments"

- Italian Beef now acceptable to eat on Friday during lent, as long as it's properly baptized in au jus

New Pope's Agenda:
- Ketchup on hot dogs now considered a mortal sin
- Popemobile to pass cars on the right when they stop at a stop sign on a two lane road
- Preferred Eucharist now deep dish
- Entire 1995-1996 Bulls roster now candidates for sainthood due to 72-10 miracle championship season

BREAKING: Jeffrey Goldberg inadvertently in as new national security advisor

Who is next on the list for Secretary of Defense after a Fox news host? NFL announcer? Are we getting Terry Bradshaw?

If it's any consolation, I saw Mogwai at a punk rock bowling alley in Chicago in 2002, and I recall that it was so loud that earplugs didn't even help. Also there was a mass exodus of cockroaches from the PA mains when they hit their distortion pedals for the first time.

This is tonight!

Fuck yeah, eat shit in hell Strom Thurmond!

First time I have been stoked about Cory Booker since probably back when I watched Street Fight.

Ugh, sorry. This one wasn't bad, just a surface thing. Have had to deal with other worse ones though. Genetics and aging, bleh. Not to mention, all of those summers as a kid in the 80s running around with either no sunscreen or SPF 6 or whatever. Hope the pain abates quickly for you!

I hope the thing they hacked out of your leg is as benign as the thing I recently had to get hacked out of my leg. Solidarity in getting-shit-hacked-out-of-legs, brother.

Always takes longer than you think to heal up when they gotta do this kinda thing on a leg. Hope that part goes well too!