BearDevil

wait’ll this guy hears about radios

in 2003 every third dvd on my shelf was a movie about how bad it is to live a boring life in the suburbs and now my wife and i are living that exact life in a cul-de-sac with 3 kids so can someone please tell me I’m still edgy and cool?

i keep trying that and get a weiner in my mouth every dang time

you should celebrate pagan xmas - it’s exactly the same except there’s better decorations and you don’t have to go to church

no it’s up to 25 in america and 10 celcius

nature’s pfd’s to help the little guys float down the sewers

being good at driving in the snow doesn’t mean you know how to drive fast in the snow. it means you know to not drive fucking fast in the snow

oh i’ve been thinking the xmas war was between the fake and real tree people but it’s actually dumber

our annual thanksgiving burning of the pilgrim

better buy one of these if you wanna cash in on the up coming class action lawsuit

that boys looking like a 38 year old game stop assistant manager now

i just want to experience one maga voter looking me directly in the eye with a hand on my shoulder telling me how right and smart and handsome i am and how so so sorry and stupid they are, it’s such a realistic and small request

thanksgiving is the 2nd best holiday it just has bad branding. that’s why i’m introducing the new tradition called the PILGRIM BURNING. everyone makes cute little pilgrims out of straw and you ceremonially burn them in the backyard. witch incantations preferred

why didn’t anyone else think of charming donald into being a socialist

being a leftist is hard because we get stuck with most of the vegans

my home town has culture dammit

what am i gonna do when all my bill clinton hats and flags and posters and commemorative plates and coins and tennis shoe and the painting of jesus hugging bubba from behind and my slick willy alter in my living room 😢

you think bubba held on to don’s combover while he was getting an orange juicing?

you think bubba held on to don’s combover while he was getting an orange juicing?

well that just means you count as a boomhauer squid boy

if you’re too edgy and cool to like stranger things i don’t care about any of your opinions about anything

this is a great idea but if someone named their child joy for this same reason i would hate them so so much

damn this really makes you think. we can have something so beautiful and perfect and then they can just take everything away from you 😢🫡🇺🇸

this one is S tier

i understand i have a severe prejudice against evangelical christians especially the white ones and i’m trying to be better but it’s not going well

the witches broom crashed in central park and we all need to hum john carpenter theme songs together

we need more halloween spirit because that’s what witches spells work on and they’re obviously not strong enough or he would be dead by now

my 30s are almost over i have to stop gaining weight and doing sins every weekend

hell yeah