Simon Richardson

If you like Safesurfer, listen to Repent Walpurgis by Procul Harem

For the better?

If you have 10 people in your team you could go on your own. It will be a big morale boost for you and really unite your team

There was a young lady from Daytona Beach…

Make a Bond film casual:

On Her Majesty’s Secret Santa List

two men are kneeling down in front of a shed looking at a box with stickers on it ALT: two men are kneeling down in front of a shed looking at a box with stickers on it

Preparing for your visit

Between the training room bits in the Strictly final and the Joshua v Paul fight we got to see a lot of lights being turned out on TV this weekend

Aim higher. You could be Director of the whole F** Around & Find Out department

Kevin Keegan would tell you of his attempts at Newcastle to put together a Shearer-Hartson Attack

Or? ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/12...

Every crime scene would have a lovely cafe and a gift shop

Congratulations on now just being a ____ bastard

You could come down to earth with a bump

That pronunciation made everyone in Northumberland go right Ulgham

I like the Gary Delaney joke that the area in a Nando’s between the front door and the back door is called the peri-perineum

And in their honour I added a typo of my own

The Grauniad not letting the rise a a facist state stop them from maintaining their tradition standards

Liar. You have always discriminated against me

Maybe they could fish all that tea out of Boston harbour to drink instead

Long time since I watched S1. Yes a little weird but think it’s because she still thinks of them as young children

If I could ask Trump anything it would be this.

If Russia invaded and seized Alaska, murdered, raped and imprisoned US citizens, stole its resources. If they had landed troops in Texas and were advancing.

Under what terms would Trump agree a deal?

Journalists, please do not describe what happened at the White House today as a "spat", "heated exchange" or as Zelensky-Trump "going at each other". Zelensky was ambushed by Vance while very calmly explaining why Ukraine needs security guarantees and doesn't trust a ceasefire...

My local Facebook group has thrown up a very in-depth description of a suspicious character seen in the area

Doing both is an option

Careful. The Chancellor of the Eggs Checker will want a share

It’s the Equality Act 2010, not Equalities, and there’s a Gender Recognition Act 2004 but no Gender Equality Act in England. Otherwise all seems spot on

Accidentally went onto Discover and it was full of posts from people talking about their terminally ill cats. Now wondering how I triggered that particular outcome from the algorithm

I have nothing but admiration for anyone who can spell the word, never mind be one

Ah. And one of them that I’d never heard before in my life