Bill Beard

The only time a trans woman will be a threat to a cis woman in the bathroom is if you try to skip her in line

If you need Ai to summarize a text, what you really need is a phone call

Everyone should be following this account. It’s a daily reminder of what happens when good people do nothing.

Feeling a quiet confidence about #Arsenal today, instead of an impending sense of doom, and I don’t need any better proof of the cultural transformation that Arteta has done with this club.

This is a *thermostat disconnected* take

I know Americans have made a lot of jokes about liberating Europe from the Nazis but I hope it wasn’t enough to stop Europeans from liberating us from the Nazis

White people you can picture just by hearing their voice:

Gen X: Valley Girl

Millennials/Z: the Bro

An excuse: it’s too windy

A reason: it’s a hurricane

But we’re in playoffs

Don’t order anything from Breeze footwear. Site says hassle free returns, but there’s no info on the site for how to do it, the phone number has no agents (seriously) and the email gets no response. 🤷‍♂️🙄

I snapped a toothbrush in half once while brushing. Not a crappy one. Colgate. Snapped it like a twig. 😬

Watching Rudiger and Real throw a fit at the end of a losing El Classico is so fitting. Lost Copa, out of Champions and unlikely to win their league. Justice being served for these whiners and bullies.

Madrid boycott Copa del Rey final duties over 'unacceptable' ref complaints Real Madrid said complaints made by Copa del Rey final referees against pressure from the club's television channel were 'unacceptable' on Friday, after pulling out of planned pre-match activities."Th...

Why is a team’s media channel allowed to make attack pieces against refs? Real Madrid should, at the least, be fined into oblivion, and at worst, forfeit the Copa.

I’m so glad Arsenal embarrassed these entitled fuckers. Rooting hard for Barca in this.

thescore.com/esp_fed/news...

People are saying Arsenal are too obsessed with being artistic.

‘Cause all they do is draw.

She’s being incompetent while describing incompetence. *chef’s kiss*

Personally if I worked at the White House I would not admit that the entire Pentagon is opposed to the President and Secretary of Defense. That's the kind of thing I would not want out in public. It's the kind of thing that could convince even dedicated Republicans that you are the baddies.

a cartoon character says you can t hurt me i 'm already dead ALT: a cartoon character says you can t hurt me i 'm already dead

When you watched the traumatic HBO episode the night it came out and you see the usual spoilers the next day

NBC exec: “Ralph, we’re really disappointed by Conclave’s streaming numbers.”

Ralph:

If we’re looking into who benefits from the Pope’s death, we need to find out where Ralph Fiennes was yesterday

Ladies and Gentlemen, in today’s performance, the role of Mezut Ozil will be played by Mikel Merino.

As a non-religious person but a big sports fan, instead of saying I’m “praying” for someone I go with sports metaphors:

-I’m rooting for you
-I’m in your corner
-Tap me in if you need anything
-God isn’t real but Declan Rice just proved miracles are
-I’m on your team

Seems to work for everyone

One of the dumbest things about America is the widespread belief that taxes are bad.

Yesterday’s #Arsenal match might be the first time in the history of Arsenal in the social media era that I’m not seeing a single person saying, “Well that’s exactly how I saw that playing out.”

Tonight’s dinner. Two bags, obviously. #Arsenal

If your dinner tonight doesn’t have rice in it are you even an #Arsenal supporter?

I was ok with the world ending but then this happened

Can someone please do a wellness check on Lionel Messi? I’m seriously concerned that Declan Rice ate him and absorbed his free kick powers. #Arsenal

a group of people are gathered in a living room with a fire coming out of the floor ALT: a group of people are gathered in a living room with a fire coming out of the floor

Having a leisurely morning before glancing at the stock market

Ordered something from a random site and it’s being shipped from China. (My bad.) I’m tracking its slow, tedious journey to Atlanta. It’s a nice reminder that we once were forced to have patience with society instead of satiating our instant gratific… oh shit my Amazon package is here, gotta go.

When your therapist says, “Do more of the things that bring you joy,” you get the new @scalzi.com in hardcover the day it comes out. ❤️