Mitch Feltscheer

When a car stops for you at a pedestrian crossing it's like, great, ANOTHER person obsessed with me jfc

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Parvati Ange
🤝

I knew it

Fuck off! I didn't even download you? This doesn't even make sense! Be gone from me vile app!!!

Hahahaha I want to die

Smoked salmon? Boring. Outdated. Not very Gen Z. Introducing: Vaped Salmon. Comes in all your favourite flavours. Blackberry Ice. Tutti Frutti. Classic cigarette. The kids love it!

The first Now You See Me movie was hands down the worst movie I've ever seen in theatres. Boggles the mind they've made three of them!

Anzac Day is about losing money! For the troops! And beer obviously, also for the troops!

What are the rules here on Blue sky re: posting about wishing for a painful death to, oh let's say, a British children's book writer? I'm still new here.

I reckon I can: "shzcooooooooommmm"
Easy

I bet this new season of Black Mirror hits hard if you're stupid.

In Brisbane for work. Every fucking person here is walking around with a Boost Juice in hand. This city is never beating the "stuck in 2005" allegations.

Probs not allowed to say it but there's surely a non-zero amount of votes the Libs will lose purely based on how fucked up Peter Dutton looks. Just a truly horsehit mug on him. Christ!

It's just another

There's something disconcerting about seeing a grown adult sucking down a yoghurt pouch. It awakens some dormant "getting dacked in the quad at recess" vibes that I don't enjoy. Baby calf motherfuckers, have some self-respect.

Real estate chuds who work on the floor below me got into the lift and said to me "must be nice to be able to work in shorts" and I said "everyday is dream" whilst deadpan and then we didn't speak until they got off.

The most sinister evil character you've ever seen in a dramatic fiction has a pink hued uwu fancam out there on the internet somewhere, I promise you.

The fandomification of consuming entertainment pisses me off. Helena Eagans decrepit old weird dad in Severance is not "baby girl"! He isn't!

If I spent 9 months in space and then came back, I'd just be normal. My muscles would be fine. "It's just floating it doesn't do anything" I'd say as I skipped or perhaps cartwheeled down the spaceship ramp.

Penny Wong you will never see the gates of heaven

The hubby and I call it WINE Lotus night cause you know we have to have that savvy b in our fingies for HBO Sunday nights 🤪

My 2 year old nephew got excited his uncle was coming around for dinner but when he found out it was my other brother and not "Uncy Mitch" he lost his shit and had a full tantrum. Life's good at the top baby!!! Uncle supremacy! Eat shit Uncle Cameron!!!!

In an Uber in Melbourne and listening to Smooth FM. They have the same jingle but a different station ID and it made me physically revolt. Horrible little city.

Was the last episode of White Lotus "boring" or has your attention span been nuked by the rectangle in your pocket you look at 16 hours of the day?

So this is my throuple

Pew Pew

Try not to casually mention that I was working with Mel C all week to impress millennial twinks at Mardi Gras tonight challenge, impossible mode

Suddenly, Sandra Bernhard!

Ugh Labor have deployed that friendly jordan muppet ahead of the election. A face I have not missed from my timelines