freakshow on the dancefloor

I... I feel as though I have wronged Obadiah somehow and need to make things right.

no

too much whiskey

I had a SA friend who was non-Afrikaner and very liberal, and even he had to have the occasional conversation about what "our Blacks" in the US were like.

"I Try" by Macy Gray.

Also, I didn't know that Fastball had another song!

Why don't they tell you what color the diaper changes when they do their business. Woke strikes again! 😢

Must be rough having Tom Hanks hold a press conference to preemptively announce he refuses to play you in the movie.

Why are you mad about having an awesome friend?

I coulda sworn they banned carob in the 80s for being bullshit

Maybe they saw you as a good prospect and wanted to inspire you to convert? Those guys with kiosks at the mall do stuff like that all the time.

Like 10 years ago I left a cherry pie at the bagging section and I think about it every damn time I buy a pie at that store.

In 4th grade we had a spelling bee every week where if you got a perfect score, you didn't get any homework. One week I got a word with an apostrophe, couldn't remember what it was called, and had my only Thursday homework all year.

I wrote her name and credit card number down in a notebook I still have in my basement. I googled her a couple of years back and she's not dead yet but looks like shit.

I worked at a furniture store when circa 1990, when I was in high school. A lady bought something from us, I ran her card, she decided she needed something else and I had to run it again. It took a while and she spent the whole time complaining and telling me to "work smart, not hard."

There are over 260 nonillion possible track listings for the White Album and if Paul McCartney wasn't such a coward they would have released them all.

The top 2 guys really need to grow gender-affirming beards if they want to stay on the good side of their local bathroom law.

...is this guy about to start fucking with our fried foods?

Reading the article this seems to be a vegan thing as much as anything else.

It's a damn shame kids are like this, people never used to get this worked up for numbers lower than 9000.

They lost me here because I don't even go to the gym!

I have no idea what conceptual gravy would possibly be like, but I have to admit I'd buy it in a second if I saw it in a store.

Also Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, largely because most of the text of the book made it into the movie.

Exhibit 14: The Ice Storm

People with axis II personality disorders are the core constituency of the Republican party.

I was trying to found antifap but I was undone by my chronic inability to finish what I start.

When you see my masterpiece Cleveland Steamer Willie, you will understand that it was worth the wait.

I'm the kind of guy where you just don't wanna know what's going on in his sink.

I'm not, this weekend I got 2/9 of a beef for what I used to pay for 4/9 of a beef.

That's because their coalition is increasingly based on diseased character rather than philosophy or material interests. In my (rather seedy) personal life, all the criminals, addicts, and bigots have swung right hard over the past decade, regardless of their interests or what they used to believe.

Also it's the prefecture where Dr. Bunsen Honeydew did his first research.

Also a squirt gun, a case of Red Bull, and the Spirit of Constant Vigilance.