Mr. Exhausted

Some sort of bee asleep on a flower of false sunflower (Heliopsis helianthoides). Long, golden yellow petals surrounding a similarly colored center.

Bee sleeping one off on a flower last night

Well, good! Fine!!

Do it

White House slashing overall NASA funding, including canceling already-built telescopes, so we can do most Cold War brainstorming session horseshit imaginable

This week 3 businesses I buy stuff from have screwed up orders. So I have to spend my time on the phone trying to get them to fix it. Is it just me or is this more common, like they're offloading quality control onto us? We all just babysit companies now

Never's a long time

I've decided to never have my throat ripped out by razor sharp claws

The life of a glasses wearer is to not notice your glasses are dirty until there’s a huge, vision obscuring blotch on them and then quietly saying to yourself “damn bitch u live like this?” as you finally clean them poorly with your shirt.

I know right???

You all probably knew already

Shocked and pleased that if you put small plants in the ground they become big plants

A single stalk of sideoats grama (Bouteloua curtipendula) going horizontally across my palm. The stalk is green, and every half inch or so a cluster of green grain-like seeds hangs down off of it, all on the same side of the stalk (hence the name). At the tip of many of the seeds is a teensy tiny flower, tubular and not much thicker than a hair, maybe 1/8" long, saffron-orange at the tip and fading to yellow at the base. There are also some tiny white feathery things mixed in there, not sure what those are. Oh, and a blurry ant.

Tiny flowers (and ant) on sideoats grama 😍

[wife wanting to discuss my mid life crisis] brent
[me with my graffiti buddies] actually it’s Sprayz now

I love my stepladder as if it was my own

your ass is grass and I'm gonna replace it with native wildflowers

Perfect cover for an air marshal

We went to see the local witch, about the sheep you see, and she offered the whole crew a drink when we arrived. I said "I'll do fine without your fiendish brew magic woman", but now it seems like they were just beers. The vibe is pretty loose and fun, I keep finding myself eyeing the fridge.

Happy birthday girl!

Ask your doctor if Years of Impotent Rage is right for you

Photo of a cutleaf coneflower (Rudbeckia laciniata) plant. In the foreground is a single stem with two flowers at the tip, each coming off the stem at an angle. The petals (technically, ray flowers) are 2"-3" long, oval, and golden yellow, speckled with drops of rain. The central part of each flower (actually a cluster of 100s of tiny flowers, disc florets) is yellow-green and protrudes a bit, like a tightly closed little pinecone. On the one on the right, some of the disc florets at the base of the pinecone shape are starting to open, showing brown styles and yellow, curly, Y-shaped stigmas emerging. A fly is checking one of them out. Other (single-headed) flowers and large, deep green leaves are in the background.

Check out my two-headed flower

Due to Disney's decades of savvy branding, I know that Mickey Mouse has characteristics such as High Voice and Ears

put 'er there pal
(i shake your hand, completely absorbing its flesh and bones into my own)
lol get 'sorbed bitch

[telling someone about a thing I worked hard on and care deeply about] it's stupid

saw a guy give really annoying advice on the career guidance subreddit so i checked his post history and it's just a bunch of threads in r/werewolf with titles like "werewolves being used as supersoldiers" and "would a werewolf bite have a different effect on an elderly person"

"This is my wife, electricity," was a common refrain in the late 1800s.

ME: ah haha thanks yeah, i guess i've always been naturally pretty good at sports
DOCTOR: ok so, that's great, but athlete's foot is a fungal skin infection

do you think there are guys who won't watch Jurassic Park now because some of the dinosaurs use frog DNA to become trans

The three types of ‘50s pop songs were come on everybody let’s do the snap pea, if you ever kissed me I would turn into some goo, and hey hey beautiful child I would never take you over state lines

They call it cereal because you eat it over and over again

No he did not.